Some of my work partners are just terrible and frustrating. Some of the problem children from last year WHO I BLAMED MYSELF FOR UPSETTING/BEING DIFFICULT are upset and difficult again this year, despite SO MUCH COMMUNICATION and advanced planning.
Last year I was in year one of my job and an office of one (due to improper staffing and turnover). I was working SO HARD, but I knew not at the level I could/would want to be at, but I was doing better than most would think is humanly possible. I took on so much stress and beat myself up so hard for “disappointing” and “letting people down.” So much so that it really spiked my Workaholic tendencies which really came to a head last summer and led me to go to counseling and ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics).
Yet here were are a year later, I have a team. We are doing great work. We are cleaning up the mess of a department I inherited and creating systems, protocols, communication channels and communication timelines. And yet it’s not good enough and I’m essentially getting attacked and criticized via email and to my face.
Thankfully, only now I can finally see it’s THEIR PROBLEM. They don’t think or care about my department’s work until May and ignored meeting invites and emails over the past several months. We have regular partner planning meetings – which THEY tell us who should sit on it. Not my problem if their designee is not going, not reporting back, or you aren’t asking for an update.
YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT MY PROBLEM. AND HOW DARE THEY TRY AND SAY OTHERWISE.
I am so triggered, but I am naming it and trying to breathe. I hope I can let it go and not let it haunt me all day.
