Measuring Monday: Holidays from Hell

Maybe I’m not a big holiday person because holidays equate with families and I’m not really a family person. Yes, I know (and believe) family can mean many different things, but when it comes to holidays that’s generally the blood-related family time. I saw some of my family at Thanksgiving so we’re staying local for Christmas and we’ll spend tomorrow with my fiance’s family. Most of my holiday memories involve yelling, feeling uncomfortable, and that feeling of sitting on pins and needles. I’ve long established that my mom is a terror, but so is her sister and their mother. The holidays for a long whole meant bringing all 3 of them together and it was just horrific, carnage everywhere.

The mental and emotional trauma of these days will never really be something I think I can totally heal from. From little things like being forced to eat fish on Christmas Eve at my grandmother’s house before we could open presents to explosive fights over stuffing at Thanksgiving that resulted in my mom kicking my Aunt and her family out of the house before dinner and then her throwing most of the food she made away while my sister, Dad and I just sat shell-shocked and yet not totally surprised. My “traditional”  holiday task since I turned 18 has been buying my mom cigarettes – Capri ultralights. Mom never lets me drive her car, except to buy her cigarettes. One year I found a local Turkey Trot a few towns over and wanted to run it with my sister, but my mom refused to let me drive her car. I knew there was no winning because she likes to keep control over the few things she has control over, but still, it was a big fight that year. When I was home for Christmas last year fetching her cigarettes was the last request I fulfilled for her – in my car because I can no longer stand to be there without a clear escape option.

My adult years involve finding alcohol my mom hid around the house and trying to dump enough of it that wouldn’t result in me getting lashed out at. I also often spend the holidays get slurred at from my mom about “when does she get to be Grandma,” meaning when does someone else host Christmas since my Grandmother stopped hosting holidays after my Grandpa died when I was 12. For the record, I would LOVE to host a holiday and have offered, but that would involve my mom coming to my house. Which means leaving Long Island and being in a car for more than 40 minutes which are all things she doesn’t do. She came up to my grad school graduation in eastern Connecticut for the day with my grandma in 2007. That’s the last time she traveled for me and she constantly reminded me of what a taxing request it was for her to drive 2.5 hours each way. Aside from that, she hasn’t seen a place where I lived since I was a freshman in college, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.

Social media makes this time of year especially painful because sometimes I like to imagine all families are as broken and dysfunctional as mine, but then I see pictures of family game nights, family Christmas pajama parties, family hat parades, and more. It breaks my heart every single year and yet like a car accident I can’t look away. I get kicked while I’m down during the holidays thanks to the TimeHop app. Here’s a random sample of what popped up today – Christmas Eve:

  • 2017: Pictures of cute Pomeranians on Instagram is my only drug option to keep me sane while at my mom’s house #hour2
  • 2011: Nothing says Christmas like family members screaming at each other on the top of their lungs #crazyfamily
  • 2010: Running errands with my sister AKA getting away from my mom for a few hours
  • 2010: Traditional Christmas yelling is on full effect
  • 2009: True life my mom made me curse in church because she is a crazy biotch

If this is the stuff I felt comfortable posting – crying for help –  via twitter or other social media you can only imagine what I didn’t post. In reflecting on horrible holidays what does it say that Thanksgiving 2007 doesn’t even crack the top 5 of horrible? Let me remind you my Dad died unexpectedly the Sunday before Thanksgiving that year and his wake and funeral were the 2 days after Thanksgiving. Yet I truthfully have had worst holidays. Bah Humbug feels like an appropriate way to end this post.

Author: jaj05002

35. DC/NoVA. Fitness Enthusiast. Balance Seeker. Recovering Workaholic. Healing Journey. Weight Watchers. Loud Laugher. Fiery Leo. Theatre Junkie. Music Aficionado. Avid Writer. Pom Mom. Lawnguyland Native.

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    Simply because your running shoes continue to look nice for a lot of, a long time, this does
    not always mean that you ought to consistently wear them. They fail to provide a
    lot support once you have eliminated close to 300-500 miles.
    Afterward point you need to just go start off looking for
    one more match.

    When you are shopping for shoes, take along a few pairs of socks if you wear different types of stockings.
    In this way, you will be able to evaluate
    the match the different socks you will be wearing them with.
    An ideal in shape will assist the feet keep pain and ache free when using these shoes you
    purchase.

    Don’t spend an excessive amount of or not enough
    for your personal shoes. A good pair of shoes may be
    expensive and definitely will serve you well for many years.
    Avoid acquiring individuals movie star endorsed
    shoes which can be constantly expensive, in most cases
    incorporate some good quality handle matter.

    Consider obtaining a good amount of pairs of trainers so that you usually have something to put on at any given celebration. When you use
    the wrong boots for your celebration, men and women will notice and may look upon you.
    So it is wise to have a couple of basic outfit shoes or boots that you can use for almost any celebration.

    Always try on footwear later inside the mid-day, rather than very first thing every morning.
    Toes can enlarge each day. Rather, store
    later on in the day time for boots. This makes certain that your shoes or boots
    will in shape.

    If you are putting on open up toe shoes or boots, obtain a pedicure.

    This hint applies to men and women alike. You may not want overgrown toe nails and dried up crusty pores and skin exhibiting the location where
    the planet can easily see them. Commit a little cash to get a professional pedicure or do 1 by yourself at home.

    As you can tell from the over post, all you need is an excellent training about shoes to understand the right pair to your ft.
    Accumulate up each one of these ideas for a plus next time you strike
    the footwear store. Have a great time in your shoe
    purchasing adventures!

  219. Picking the right pair of shoes is the target when you visit the store, but
    often times we discover ourselves being unsure of what is the best
    for our ft .. When you are baffled with the number of shoes on the market, don’t get worried because
    the following write-up has arrived to aid. Continue reading for sound tips about footwear.

    When selecting new sports footwear, usually do not get them to do more than the things they were intended to do.
    If you opt for a wandering footwear, tend not to perform hockey with them.
    Sporting shoes or boots are designed for particular
    sports for the explanation. They will give you additional support inside the regions
    that are required for your ideal activity.

    Before you decide to shop online for shoes or boots, check out a sneaker store to get the sizing
    shoes you require. As a result of a lot of styles of footwear
    available, you should put on some shoes well before purchasing them.

    Besides the measurements of the shoes, ensure that you receive the correct
    thickness.

    If you must put on orthotic devices for the feet, bring
    them along when you are looking for a new footwear. Try out choosing a match that
    allows you to pleasantly wear your orthotic products. Get some
    good ideas from the orthotist if you are not sure what sort of footwear you must get.

    Usually do not put on the same boots each day. This could be truly appealing, particularly if you have
    a popular pair, but do your very best to avoid it. This can end your feet from becoming more flexible
    and there is a probability which it will result in your shoes or
    boots to obtain an stench.

    Try on a dimension before you buy it. Too many people obsess over the quantity in footwear,
    but what you must focus on is suit. the situation with counting
    on the number dimensions is that numbers vary by brand name.
    At times, the amounts will vary within a company based
    on the forms of boots they can make.

    Prevent getting boots that want “breaking up in.” Some sales people will attempt to influence you that new shoes need
    to be cracked in in order for these to fit. It doesn’t usually operate
    that way. A quality sneaker will suit perfectly when you initially
    wear it. When the shoes usually do not feel great on your own ft ., put
    on an additional set.

    Simply because your running sneakers continue to look good for a lot of,
    several years, this does not mean that you ought to still wear them.
    They neglect to offer very much assistance once you have
    went about 300-500 mls. Following that stage you should go out and start shopping for an additional set.

    While you are searching for shoes or boots, get
    alongside a couple of couples of socks should you dress in different kinds
    of stockings. Using this method, it will be easy to examine the match the different socks you will certainly be putting them on with.
    An ideal in shape will help your feet remain pain free although sporting the
    footwear you acquire.

    Don’t shell out too much or not enough for your boots.
    A great pair of shoes may cost a lot and can last properly for some time.
    Steer clear of purchasing those celeb recommended footwear that are always costly, and in most
    cases possess some high quality control matter.

    Attempt acquiring plenty of sets of trainers so you also have one thing to use at any given occasion. When you use the wrong
    footwear for that event, men and women will observe and may appearance on you.
    So you should always have a pair of basic dress footwear that can be
    used for almost any situation.

    Generally try on shoes afterwards in the afternoon,
    rather than very first thing each morning. Ft . can swell throughout the day.
    Alternatively, retail outlet later in the working day for shoes or boots.

    This helps to ensure that your footwear will fit.

    If you are putting on wide open toe boots, have a pedicure.
    This tip applies to men and women alike. You do not want overgrown toe fingernails or toenails and dry crusty
    skin area demonstrating in which the entire world can easily see them.
    Invest a bit funds to possess a specialist
    pedicure or do a single on your own at home.

    As you have seen from the above report, you just need a good
    training about footwear to comprehend an ideal combine for
    your personal feet. Collect up all these suggestions for a benefit when you success
    the footwear retail store. Good luck in your footwear purchasing
    journeys!

  220. Picking the right pair of shoes is the target when you
    visit the shop, but in many cases we discover yourself not understanding what is
    best for our toes. If you are perplexed through the numerous shoes or boots out there, don’t stress since the
    pursuing article is here to help you. Continue reading for solid recommendations on shoes.

    When buying new sporting boots, usually do not make them do greater than what they
    were actually intended to do. If you opt for a wandering footwear, tend
    not to perform football within them. Athletic shoes or boots are equipped for particular sports activities
    for the purpose. They will provide you with more support within the regions that are required for your preferred activity.

    Prior to deciding to buy online for shoes or boots, go to a footwear store to
    get the size shoes you need. As a result of several kinds of boots readily available, it is
    essential to try on a set of boots before purchasing them.
    Besides the size of the sneaker, make sure that you
    obtain the proper size.

    If you must dress in orthotic devices for the ft,
    take them along when you go buying a new set of footwear. Try
    out choosing a match that lets you pleasantly dress in your orthotic gadgets.
    Get some suggestions from the orthotist when you are uncertain what sort of shoes you need to
    get.

    Tend not to put on a similar footwear every single day.
    This could be truly tempting, notably in case you have a well liked combine, but do your best to
    prevent it. This will likely end your feet from more and more limber and there
    exists a chance which it may cause your footwear to acquire an odour.

    Try on a sizing prior to buying it. A lot of people obsess across the quantity in boots, but what you need to
    give attention to is suit. the issue with depending on the amount dimensions is the fact amounts differ by brand.
    Occasionally, the phone numbers will be different in just a brand depending on the varieties of footwear they are.

    Stay away from getting boots that require “splitting in.” Some sales agents
    will endeavour to persuade you that new shoes or boots should be cracked
    in to ensure these to suit. It doesn’t generally operate
    doing this. An excellent footwear will fit comfortably when you put it on.
    In the event the boots will not feel great on your own feet, put on an additional set.

    Even though your running sneakers continue to look
    good for several, many years, this does not always mean you should still wear them.
    They neglect to offer very much support after you have removed around
    300-500 kilometers. Afterward stage you must just go and start off buying an additional combine.

    If you are searching for shoes or boots, take coupled several sets of socks if you dress in various kinds
    of socks. Using this method, you will be able to evaluate the fit with the various socks you will certainly be putting them on with.
    A perfect in shape may help your feet keep pain and ache free while putting on the
    footwear you acquire.

    Don’t pay out an excessive amount of or
    too little for your personal footwear. A great pair of trainers might cost
    a lot but will serve you properly for a long period. Avoid purchasing all those movie
    star backed footwear which can be generally overpriced, and often possess some quality management problem.

    Try out obtaining lots of sets of shoes so that you also have some thing to put on at
    virtually any occasion. If you use the incorrect shoes for that occasion, men and women notice and may seem upon you.
    So you should always have some fundamental attire shoes or boots which can be used for virtually any situation.

    Always put on shoes or boots in the future inside the mid-day, as
    an alternative to first thing in the morning.

    Feet can swell throughout the day. Instead, store later on within the time for shoes.
    This helps to ensure that your shoes will usually in shape.

    If you are wearing open toe shoes or boots, obtain a pedicure.
    This idea applies to men and women alike. You may not want overgrown toe fingernails or toenails and dried out crusty epidermis exhibiting the location where the
    community can see them. Commit a little funds to have a professional pedicure or do one on your own at home.

    As you can tell through the above report, you simply need
    a great education and learning about shoes or boots
    to know the right combine for your personal toes. Accumulate up each
    one of these ideas for an advantage when you struck
    the shoes retailer. All the best in your sneaker store shopping adventures!

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