Tag: MLabout

Shedding the Heaviness

For most of my young adult life I was burdened with two major things – weight and debt. I felt enormous pressure to rid myself both which would ultimately lead to downward spirals which left me worse off than where I started. 

In 2010 something change, I changed. 

In January 2010 I started to take control of my weight and fitness. The way I started to take control was to PAY ATTENTION TO IT. To look at it head on and make note of it. I needed to know where I was before I could imagine where I wanted to be. Those first 6 of so weeks of paying attention and seeing change, made me realize I needed to face my earnings/spending/bills/debt head on too.

I had school loans, but with really low interest rates (thanks pre-market crash). I had two credit cards – one with a much lower interest rate than the other. Instead of trying to pay the same amount on both each month, I paid the minimum on the lower interest card and paid a combo on what I could I paid off on moth each month (minus the minimum paid) on the higher interest rate card. Seeing one card’s balance decline rapidly helped my morale. 

One thing that was glaringly obvious was that I was spending WAY too much money on a car loan. I loved the car but there was NO WAY I could keep it up, especially without spinning into insurmountable debt. Plus I could DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE CAR. I could trade it in for something cheaper which is exactly what I did. Car salesman don’t scare me, I’ve never shied away from a car buying inquiry. So in February 2010 (6 weeks into my weight loss journey) I got serious about trading in my car. I knew what my car was worth and I knew how much I wanted to spent a month. I ended up trading in my 2007 Toyota RAV4 for a 2007 Toyota Camry (it even had 3-4 thousand less miles than my car). I also cut my monthly car payment from ~$480 to ~$280. I’m FINALLY two payments away from owning the car. After it’s paid off in March I plan to put $200 in savings each month after it’s paid off and give myself a little more money in my budget. 

$0 credit card debt, $0 car debt (as of mid-March), and just over $5K in school debt. This will be quite the NSV (non-scale victory). 

How Do You Measure a Year?

measuringlife:

I knew in 2010 I wanted to make big life changes. Aftering a conversation with a friend during a long roadtrip I took the challenge to measure my year in “cups of coffee” as per the song seasons of love in RENT.

For the past 2 weeks I have been tracking my coffee intake and it got me thinking about tracking other things as well. This blog will be my living journal as I track these aspects of my life:

My weight
How often I go to the gym
What I did at the gym
How many miles I run on a tredmill
How many calories I burned at the gym
If I have not eaten after 9pm
How many times a day I wake up early to take a long walk with my dog

I’m committed to changing my diet and lifestyle this year.
I have been on a half ass diet for most of my adult life, that has yielded limited or temporary results.

I’d say the last time I really felt good about myself was my sophomore year of college/beginning of junior year. Looking back I really looked pretty great. Strangely enough I have no idea how much I weighed then either, therefore I don’t have how far off I am from getting there again.
I’d say I was also in decent shape my last semester of grad school. I even have TONS of great clothes from that period that I would love to wear again.

Well I’m dedicated this year. I’m testing my self, my mind, my body and my soul.
If I’m not successful in OH-TEN than I think I’m going to commit to being fat.

My dad struggled most of his life with weight and yo-yoing. He was heavy for most of my youth and then in high school he lost 100 pounds with slimfast, diet, and exercise. He even kept it off for 6-8years. It was when he retired that he started putting on weight again and obviously defeated he let him self gain nearly all of that weight back. His unhappiness with his body ultimately led him to get gastric bypass surgery which killed him.

I want to love my body, whichever body I am supposed to have and maintain. So if things don’t work out for me this year (which is a trial run, which if successful I plan to keep up for the rest of my life) than I want to stop trying to reach for something that is impossible and just learn to love myself where ever I’m at.

Now don’t get me wrong I will always want to stay healthy…I want stay active and try and eat right, but I think this is a test of my state of mind, body and soul.

Seriously, why halfway diet if you get no results. My body tends to like where it’s at regardless of what I eat or don’t eat, exercise or don’t exercise. So in 2011 if big changes haven’t happened I think I’m going to be content with how I look, but I can’t be content unless I try my darnedest within reason.

I have no plans to act like a biggest loser contestant, but I do plan on monitoring my sugar intake (my mom did that and transformed her body and her life),I also want to eliminate late night eating (only liquids after 9pm), in addition to going to the gym at least 4 times a week (I would like to try and get to a 10 minute mile on the treadmill), I want to walk more (morning walks with Freddie before work to get my blood pumping, parking farther at work, etc).

Ideally I’d like to lose 5 lbs a month (which means 40 pounds by my birthday which would be magical). I am only going to weigh myself on Fridays, instead of obsessively weighing myself. I’m on a kick of writing lots of things down (thanks in part to my coffee count) I have made a nightly checklist so to speak to keep my self accountable. I also think writing all this in blog form also makes me accountable. I not only said it, but I WROTE it for the whole world to see (not like the whole world reads this), so it’s pressure, but good pressure.

My mantra may come from a weird place, but it has been speaking to me nearly a year now:

I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

It’s from Radiohead’s song “Creep”, but the lyrics really stood out to me when David Cook covered it in his old band Axium. Obviously I’m not looking to fit popculture’s definition of perfection, but rather the best version of myself.

If I meet my goal, I would also like to get those lyrics tattooed on my side/ribs. Recently I been to writing the lyrics everywhere to serve as a reminder of the task at hand.

I think this is all truly attainable. The only way I could fail is if I LET MYSELF FAIL.

I encourage you all to ask me how I’m doing and to keep me in your thoughts and prayers on my journey this year

Thanks self for starting this journey 6 years ago this week. I’m so glad I took a chance on myself in an effort to lead my best life!

2015 Reflection Survey

A friend of mine posted this last week on her blog (and she’s been religious about doing it annually for yeeeeears). So I thought I’d take a stab: 

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before? Used my passport! 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Losing weight and new race distances/events didn’t happen, but I was active and had ups and downs with my nutrition. However I am in a MUCH MUCH better place financially – every year over the past few I’ve continued to get a better handle on my finances. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Babies were born, some I care more about than others, but no babies were born to anyone that would change my relationship with them. 

4. Did anyone close to you die? No thankfully.

5. What places did you visit? North to South & East to West: York Beach ME, Nashua NH, Boston, Charlemont MA, Hamden CT, NYC, Coney Island, Long Island, Fenwick Island DE, Dewey Beach DE, Pittsburgh, Frederick MD, Baltimore, Annapolis, Harpers Ferry WV, Leesburg VA, Harrisonburg VA, Charlottesville VA, Roanoke VA, Blacksburg VA, Raleigh, Charlotte, Ireland, Kansas City, Los Angeles(x2).

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015? A new more fulfilling and challenging job.

7. What days from 2015 will you always remember? First time T told me he loved me, Dublin Marathon, Bestie’s Wedding.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Successfully training for the Dublin Marathon. The race is only 26.2 miles, but I’m most proud of the hundreds of miles I put in training. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Hibernating most of the winter and early spring. More of a regret than a failure. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Heel spur and plantar fasciitis on my right foot. 

11. What was the best thing you bought? New running shoes and my first television (they happened in the same week)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? T – he took on the challenge to train for a 12K very seriously and rocked it! 

13. Where did most of your money go? Paying down my car (it will be all mine in March), Rent/Bills, Traveling

14. What did you get really excited about? 1 year Anniversary with T, Trip to Ireland, Bestie’s Wedding, Dewey Trip Round 3

15. What song will always remind you of 2015? Uptown Funk and the Taylor Swift Starbucks lover song ha! 

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

  • a) happier or sadder? Happier! 
  • b) thinner or fatter? literally the same level of fatness 
  • c) richer or poorer? Richer!

17. What do you wish you’d done more of? Attended Church – I was doing so well for a while, but January is always a good time to get back to it! 

18. What do you wish you’d done less of? Screwing around on my phone in bed (both before going to sleep and before getting out of bed). 

19. How did you spend Christmas? On Long Island at my mom’s house. 

20. What was your favorite TV program? The Soup, Nashville, Making a Murderer, Younger, The Office 

21. What was the best book you read? Sadly I didn’t do a lot of reading this year – I have a stack of books, but haven’t read them.  

22. What music did you get excited about? New David Cook record!

23. What did you want and get? A new and upgraded Fitbit

24. What did you want and not get? A new job

25. What was your favorite film of this year? In theaters – American Sniper

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 32 –  boozy brunch and Escape Room Live

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015? Boldly patterned shorts and lots of running clothes! 

28. What kept you sane? T, my besties, running, writing/blogging

29. Who was the best new person you met? My grad student –  I needed the help at work and he’s been great! Honorable mention goes to my fellow runner/blogger/colleague Anne.

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014. Find your north and trust it completely. I need to be me 100% – love me or hate me. 

Kudos to you if you took the time to read all this – thank you! 

2015 Highlights

Last year I wrote a 2014 Highlights post so here is one for 2015!

January: T and I exchanged I Love Yous for the first time

February: T took me to a David Cook concert for Valentine’s Day because I had to miss the one I was supposed to go to the week before

March: Kicked off running in the mornings on a semi-regular basis which (spoiler alert – became very regular)

April: Started my love affairs with Mason Jar salads

May: Ran my 6th Race for Hope DC with T (his first race ever)

June: Registered for the Dublin Marathon and kicked off training

July: Bestie’s Bachelorette Party in NYC

August: My Birthday Celebrations! 

September: Bestie’s wedding weekend in Maine/Boston

October: Dublin Marathon and Ireland Travels

November: Tim training for and running his first 12K

December: TBD, but the front runner is NYC weekend for my sister’s 30th (which I apparently didn’t blog about..weird) 

Seasons of My Life: December

I’ve always been a very reflective person. I’ve journaled since 1997, blogged on and off since 2006, and I’ve been an active social media user (which makes time-hop all the more fun). 

Not to get all religious on people but I’ve always been a fan of the quote “To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under heaven.” 

Here’s a glimpse at my recollection of where I was in December of each year. 

2014-2015: Mature girlfriend. Lots of fresh balsam candles, pajamas, and holiday movies while snuggling with Freddie and T. Making it a point to spend quality time with friends throughout the month.

2012-2013: Making up for lost time drunken fest. I finally had the opportunity for all the shenanigans I always wanted to experience like dressing up like a Christmas tree for sloppy santa bar crawls. Being around great, fun, friends – eating, drinking, being merry 24/7.

2010-2011: Running and dating. Was still navigating the beginnings of my first real relationship and about year later the end of it which led to lots of dating and running. In 2010 I started my love affair with running and by December 2011 I was training for my first marathon. I was really finding myself and loving myself. 

2008-2009: Lonely Decembers. I remember watching so much TV, shopping aimlessly, and crafting. I wasn’t happy for a lot of reasons and sort of hibernated. I was always so excited to roadtrip up the east coast for the holidays with visits along the way, most notably in Charlotte and Baltimore to see friends. 

2007: 1st without Daddy. My dad died the Sunday before Thanksgiving so really the whole holiday season was a blur. I do recall wearing reindeer antler headbands at the bar with friends and pointing to them whenever an awkward guy would hit on us since I had recently taught them awkward antler.  

2001-2006: Finals stress. Oh college and grad school. I don’t miss finals week at all. It was always a mix of studying, banging out papers, and creative procrastination. Along with lots and lots of boy band christmas cds. 

1998-2000: Empty, no decorations. These were the early years after my parents got divorced and holidays turned to absolute shit. Most of this time I’ve mentally blocked, but I recall one year having a “Christmas chair” in lieu of a tree because my mom refused to put anything up. 

1997: AOL isolation.  I’m pretty sure I started journaling because I knew life as I knew it was changing. Puberty, the rise of AOL, my parents’ loveless marriage on it’s last legs. AOL was a place to find community (A/S/L anyone), but also a place to escape and hide. Writing was my safe place and Hanson’s Snowed In became my favorite Christmas CD (both are still true). 

A life in reverse only makes sense when it’s lived in order. Each season has it’s purpose and will come and go. I’m curious to see what the future holds. 

Friday 5

  1. Went to Founding Farmers with my old roommate last night. We ate spicy fried chicken and donuts.The mac and cheese was to die for – I’m not even sorry. 
  2. I need to buy some new bras BADLY. I always machine wash them, but air dry them. However the washer at my new place keeps eating them. 
  3. I get to see some of my favorites this weekend as we come together to celebrate a friend’s birthday! 
  4. I’m loving this warm snap of weather – I’m going to wear capris and a tshirt for my 12K tomorrow!
  5. T and I are decorating our 2nd annual ginger bread house this weekend. I’ve been doing them for years, but it’s a fun new tradition together

Thankful

In no particular order…

  • Safe travels and trip to Ireland especially in light of all the recent terrorism
  • The ability to train and complete my 3rd marathon
  • Wonderful friendships with beautiful people near and far
  • My main man pup Freddie
  • Finally have a steady grip on my finances and nearly being debt free. My car will be paid off in March and schools loans in 2018
  • T for being my soulmate and loving the aspects of me that I even have trouble loving sometimes
  • Elvis Duran Morning Show – my commute would be horrible without it

Mid Day Check In

  • ran 4 miles this morning 63/71
  • one of my students went on about how much she loved my bun today
  • I emailed fitbit customer service, stay tuned 
  • In pulling my tracker out of my fitbit flex, I may have further ripped the band, so now I’ve secured it with scotch tape (sexy) until I get home and put on another band

Friday Five

1. I have so many Libras in my life – this weekend T and I are headed to Baltimore to celebrate two of my long time friends’ birthdays. We are also going to T’s family’s house to celebrate T and his mom’s birthday which was the day before his. 

2. Speaking of birthdays, tomorrow is my mom’s birthday. She and I have never been close, but I had originally planned to go to NY for her birthday. However she decided to make other plans and said coming at Thanksgiving is good enough. I can never win with her and I don’t know why I keep trying.  

3. T started his 12K training this week. That jerk has run his first two 2 mile training runs in ~17 minutes. I wish I could just be fast. My fast was a 9:40 mile a few years back, now my fast is an 11:30 mile, but I’ll stop comparing. 

4. Tomorrow is my last double digit run before Dublin, how freaking crazy is that. Training calls for 12, but I’m going to do 13.1 (I missed my 10 miler last week due to rain/stress), plus I always prefer a “round” number like 13.1, well round in race terms! 

5. I’m looking forward to my lunch date today with a colleague I met through the University twitter account! She was tweeting on behalf of the University in August (they have a new person from campus tweet each week) as she sent off her first kid to college at Auburn! That first bonded us, but she is also a runner training for Marine Corps Marathon. We’re going to the all you can eat dining hall so watch out! 

Happy Things

I got tagged by Jayhawkeringa in 5 things that make me happy.

1. The Ocean. Born and raised on Long Island, I refuse to live in a state that doesn’t touch an ocean. Excited to be headed to Dewey Beach tomorrow for a long girls weekend!

2. My Dog. Freddie is the best seriously. I miss his cute little face all the time and hate when I don’t have him sleeping in my bed with me. I literally worry about him dying all the time because when that day comes I’m going to be a hot mess express. 

3. The Color Orange. Out of nowhere my love of the color orange blossomed the summer before junior year of college. I thought it would be a phase, but nope. How can you not smile looking at a bright beautiful orange. I love that it’s loud and a little offbeat, like me! 

4. People who think I’m funny. Back was I was a fat kid, all I was confident about was my humor. I still relish in the fact that people laugh at my jokes or find me amusing. Better yet if they tell me I’m funny to my face!

5. Taking off my bra. Especially after a workout. My D cups require major hoist-age and nothing feels better than unleashing those puppies. I’m extra happy when someone else takes my bra off me ;P

I won’t peer pressure anyone with a tag, but I’d love to read yours!