In all my previous and failed weight loss attempts I would RUN* so I could EAT.
These days I EAT so I can RUN.
It’s such a crazy mental shift, but running is THE most important thing to me right now. I make so many decisions based around running and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
*I didn’t start actually running until this year, but I would use the elliptical, go to classes, etc.
Sweated my face off in spin class and then knocked out 5 miles on the treadmill.
Full marathon I’m COMING…be afriad, be very afraid.
I also would be remiss if I didn’t mention how much all of your comments on my post about my dad meant to me. THANK YOU for your kind words, it has such a healing power. You all are so dear to my heart. I look forward to including you all in celebrating his life tomorrow.
Warning: My Opinion on/Experience with Gastric Bypass
This week there has been some buzz about gastric bypass on here and I guess picking up where I left off last week when I was blogging about my dad.
He had the surgery at a private, outpatient hospital that pretty much only did gastric bypass and lapband surgery in Dallas. The surgery itself was OK, but the aftercare or LACK THERE OF was what lead to his death. His surgery was on Thursday, November 15, 2007 and he died Sunday, November 18, 2007 – there was ample time to save him. He essentially slowly bled internally to death.
He had the surgery Thursday morning and was supposed to be released Friday. I should mention I wasn’t at the hospital until after he died. He didn’t think I needed to be down there for the surgery, he had his friends that were going to take care of him after surgery. He downplayed everything and I truly regret not going to the hospital at any point in time and making demands – however I was naive to so much of the situation and blaming myself isn’t going to solve anything.
Anyway surgery was Thursday, he was supposed to be released Friday. Well his stats were low/not as strong as they should have been (medical jargon is not my strong suit). So the hospital decided to keep him another day. Well Saturday they were about to RELEASE HIM when one of his friends noticed that his incisions were STILL bleeding through the gauze and that my dad really shouldn’t go home like that. So they re-admitted/didn’t finish releasing him and he stayed in the hospital on Saturday. I talked to him both Thursday and Saturday and there was a MAJOR difference. It was scary, but he said it was just the meds that were making him sound so tired and weak. I will never forgot how his voice sounded. We talked briefly and told each other that we loved one another and how I was excited to come down on Tuesday and see him (I had been planning to come all along on Tuesday night to hang out with him before flying to NY on Wednesday for Thanksgiving that year). I had A LOT of trouble sleeping that night.
Sunday morning 6:30am my phone rings. I knew before I answered the phone that he was dead. I was devastated, I still am. My whole entire world forever changed.
A friend drives me the 2.5 hours to Dallas because I am in no condition to drive – I didn’t cry much, I was tooo in shock. I was just numb. I get to the hospital and meet up with my dad’s friends about 11am and to my HORROR he was still in his room (I did not see him, I didn’t want to see him like that). This JOKE of a hospital didn’t have a morgue or anything. They just left him there. :::BLIND RAGE:::
Here I am 24 years old and in charge. I am talking with all my family 1,000 miles away in NY and being the person making decisions about how to proceed. And I’m just SCREAMING at hospital staff. His “cause of death” from the coroner (WHO CALLS IN CAUSES OF DEATH OVER THE PHONE – IN TEXAS AT LEAST) was heart failure. UMMMMM yes generally EVERYONE’s cause of death is literally heart failure. You’re heart stops = you die. BUT WHAT LED TO THE HEART FAILURE. The Dallas coroner office refuses to do an autopsy so we decided to do our own private one in New York. FYI – an autopsy in the state of New York is about $18,000.
The funeral home in New York that we used (WHO WERE WONDERFUL) worked with another Dallas funeral home to get my dad to a morgue and get him flown to New York.
We come to find out that my dad’s true cause of death, was that he bled to death. He lost 2 LITERS OF BLOOD – that’s a whole soda bottle. He died slowly and to my understanding felt no pain, but it was COMPLETELY preventable. The sutures from the surgery weren’t properly closed up and initially all that needed to be done was go in and fix the problem. Even just a few hours before his death he could have been saved with a blood transfusion. BAYLOR FREAKIN HOSPITAL was less than a mile away. This joke of a private hospital that doesn’t have that type of equipment could have easily transferred him there. NEGLIGENCE in his aftercare.
Before you ask. Yes we tried to sue. However the state of Texas is a corrupt bag of shit thanks mostly to George W. Bush. I really don’t want to get started on lawsuit stuff. It was a terrible 2 year ordeal that honestly just left me extra angry with hospitals, doctors, lawyers and Texas.
My daddy didn’t need that surgery. My daddy didn’t need to die. Sadly he did, but I refuse to let my weight control my life. To quote a message I got from @milfitude a while back and saved:
Sometimes it takes the death of a loved one to wake us up. I consider that a lasting gift from my mother.
I found such comfort and hope in those words. And here I am 3 years later and in the best place in my life thus far. I thank my father for that lasting gift no matter how painful it’s been. I only wish he was here to see me now and the wonderful all-around person I am today.
Tomorrow I plan on celebrating my dad’s life on here. Today I will cry, but tomorrow I will celebrate and smile.
So glad to be back in the 170s. I saw 178.2 THREE weeks ago and then had a little weight roller coaster. Glad things are back on track. Still would would love to lose these 10 pounds in the next 6-7 weeks, don’t know if it will/can happen, but I’m gonna try my damnedest.
500th Post – so crazy. Here’s hoping to 500 more posts! I love each and everyone of you – those I follow, those that follow me, those that casually stalk this!
After living here for 2.5 years I finally meet this boy (whose name is….wait for it….Wiley. I know it’s country, but it TOTALLY SUITS HIM) who is awesome and says things like “There was nothing about you that I didn’t find attractive” – and today I get a phone call from The Parsons New School of Design in NYC in reference to a job I applied to a few weeks ago wanting to setup a phone interview tomorrow.
REALLY WORLD? REALLY?!?!
I still have a stressful work week ahead of me and I’m psuedo running on empty from just a crazy semester in general and I’m tired because I was on the phone with W until waaaaay to late last night.
I know whatever is meant to be will be, but no joke my head might explode.
I have myself a nice little 3 mile run to kick off my 18+ weeks of training. Honestly the whole training schedule doesn’t scare me at all. I’m actually cutting back from running 5x a week to 4x a week with this training plan which will be a change. Week 1 is like r,3,5,3,r,8,cross – CAKE. The jump from a 12 mile run to 14 mile run in a few weeks will be interesting.
I’m so freakin stoked and it feels badass to say/know I’m training for a full.
ALSO, I have an appointment on Monday for a general physical and a gynecological exam on Tuesday – I just want to make sure I have a clean bill of heath as I embark on this next challenge.
I’m disappointed the Lululemon Logo has nothing to do with the Leo symbol. I have this leo symbol tattooed on my foot and I’ve recently wanted to get something Lululemon because of their logo.
As per the FAQ on their website the backstory of the Lululemon logo is:
The lululemon name and logo was created by lululemon founder Chip Wilson. The stylized “A” logo which appears on lululemon clothing has had its share of interesting interpretations: from a girl’s flip hair-do to sensual parts of a woman’s body (that’s for you to guess!). The “A” originally stood for the first letter in “Athletically Hip”. Athletically Hip was one of 20 names originally proposed to the original design team. The original design team like the stylized “A” but they preferred the name “lululemon”.
Officially signed up for a 3 mile Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning!
I sincerely hope the t-shirt says Huffin’ for Stuffin’ too!
milfitude replied to your post: I’m not a player I just crush a lot
The arm kiss. LOL*snort*
BEST. REACTION. EVER. And totally appropriate! That’s been the part of the story that most of my friends have also died laughing over.
This weekend was awesome.
After work on Friday I made an impromptu trip to the mall and got 2 cute new shirts that I wore this weekend. Friday night I met up with Mr. Navy Lawyer and 2 of his friends. It was so fun being out with 3 tall, cute, educated, normal guys. I had a lot of fun with them. Mr. Navy was very touchy feely all night – which in the past, despite not being a huge PDA person I liked, but this time I wasn’t really feeling it. Friday was low key because Saturday was game day.
Saturday after getting to campus in the early afternoon – I refuse to start tailgating and drinking in the AM, I would much rather sleep. Anyway I met up with Mr. Navy Lawyer and his crew. I should mention that is an alum so he had his crew of people to see, but wanted me with him. Well it seemed like his crew were like all couples. I swear it was like him, me and his friends with their wives and girlfriends. Maybe that’s what did him in because I swear I felt like I couldn’t breathe (commitment phobe much?) It was really bad when all the wives/girlfriends were talking like group shots of the boys and he gives me his camera to take some pictures for him. So there I am with all the wives, fiances, and girlfriends. It stressed me out.
Went went to the game – where I sit we have 3 seats. My friend M wasn’t able to go to the game, but my friend T was. So it was T (who is a guy and TOTALLY platonic), me in the middle and him. Again he was touching all on me. At one point I was pointing to show him where some people were sitting across the stadium so my arm was like reached across him and HE KISSED MY ARM!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?! Awkward. For someone who always struck me as smooth, it was all awkward.
Fastforward to after the game which ended at 7pm since it was a day game. We went our separate ways, but were going to meet up later and all go out. So I go home and relax for a few hours and then get ready since I figured we’d be going out around 11pm. Well at like 10:30pm he texts me saying that like everyone is passed out or too tired to go, but he could rally. In the past I would have, but I just didn’t want to lead him on. It wasn’t gonna happen. So depsite being fully dressed and ready to do, I told him I was also tired, blah blah and that I’d catch up with him Sunday before he left town.
Got to sleep in Sunday and even run. I had failed to mention on here that Sunday afternoon I had an OKC date schedule with a guy I’ve been talking to for a few weeks, but was too busy to see. Weirdly enough he was in Missouri last weekend too only like 2 hours from St. Louis for a wedding. Anyway I was looking forward to the date, but also wanted to keep my expectations low.
So Sunday I’m getting ready for the date and texting a little with Mr. Navy. Honestly I think he was pissed/sad/defeated that I essentially turned him down and I ended up not seeing him before I had to leave for my date, but of course he sent me flirty texts.
So I meet my date and he was AWESOME. Like portrayed himself online exactly how he is and he was just like he was on the phone. We had a lot of fun, laughed A LOT, busted on eachother a ton. It was just comfortable and fun. We went out for a late lunch and then I took him to campus and showed him around, we got coffee and then hung out on these swings (benches) on the back porch of this old building on campus. So we hung out for like 3ish hours. When it was time to say goodbye he did smooch on me a little – as much as I’d allow in public which isn’t much. I’m weirdly shy with certain things. Whatever it was cute. We ended up talking on the phone for a while once he got home last night (he lives 80 miles away – which is a blessing and a curse to a degree). So yeah I’ll leave things at that for now…