Slump

I haven’t run since my 5K on May 1. 

I have been depressed lately – leading to not running and eating shit. May is also a batshit crazy month at work. I am in the midst of 12-16 hour work days for 2 weeks leading up our first orientation session. I’m at work 7:45am- (7pm, 9pm or last night 11:30pm). I hate these two weeks in May, so I’m happy I escaped to DC before they started.

I had a GREAT trip to DC where I saw my besties and got to enjoy city life. Since then it’s made me really long to be back north and with my friends. When I moved south (Texas 07-08) and now to Alabama in June 08 I knew it was temporary. Getting away from “home” was something I felt I HAD to due, but I always knew I wanted to go back. 

I’ve been trying to get back for over a year. I really enjoyed my time down here, but I had Jan 2011 as a ballpark of when I wanted to be back home. I started applying for jobs back north in Feb 2010. I had a really great interview at a school I loved for a job I would have taken last May and I really thought that was it I was moving back. 

So last May I started to say my mental goodbyes to my job. I thought last year would be the last time I’d go through these 2 crazy weeks at work. Honestly I NEVER in a million years thought I’d still be here. I find myself spending too much time throwing myself a pity party. I know not everything in life works out exactly how you want (and when you want it), but I feel stuck. 

I’m ready for a new job (mainly because I really want new challenges and more responsibilities). Plus I want to be closer to home. I want to be in a city. I’ve wanting these those two things for a really long time. That’s how I made my peace with small town living when I followed “the job.” I need to get out, but it needs to be right. I’m so stressed I’m not going to get out or take a job I don’t really like because I haven’t had other opportunities.

I’m in a vicious circle of being depressed about work, which leads to me eating crap, which makes me not feel like exercising, on top of barely having time to do so, then I feel more depressed because I’m not eating good and haven’t worked out.

It really needs to be June already. I have Saturday off, so I’m hoping to get out and just RUN. I don’t care about distance or speed. I just need to get moving.

Pray for me. Send positive vibes. I need all the help I can get.