Crossfit Reflection

I think the coach, the clock, and the class level lead to my hatred of my first crossfit experience.

It was a general class but there were 3 of us doing a trial in a class of about 20.

There was only a basic overview of the WOD, but there was no real talk of form or technique. Even during the warm up the coach barked at the trial folks to do mountain climbers instead of burpees, without explaining or demoing. I know what mountain climbers are thanks to Jillian Michaels, but the two other trial girls didn’t.

Even as the work out started the coach barked at us or told us we were doing something wrong without telling us how to do it right. I was beyond frustrated. I actually stopped doing one of the workouts with the weights on my second set so I could focus on my form.

I really hated the clock. I felt immense pressure to rush through things. I’m used to the clock when running, but once someone passes you, you generally don’t see them again so you don’t realize how far behind you are. I’m a very competitive person and it’s unrealistic to think I could compete with crossfitters. I dont know why they didn’t let trial people come to a foundations class instead of a regular class. Granted I don’t know how introductory the foundations classes are, but I just think it was bad strategy having trial people go to a regular class.

When to comes down to it if I’m being honest…my ego was bruised. After not doing very much weight training over the past year I need to focus on building strength before I even think about trying crossfit again and it will def be with a different coach or at a different box.

Cher, I don’t wanna do this anymore, and my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel

Clueless. 

However if you do Ripped in 30 your buns will feel like steel even after 5 days. Just ask my TUSH!

The Tall and Short of It: An Epiphany

When it comes to body image, my weight is/was only one part of my issue with my size.

Not only did a spend a majority of my life overweight, but I’ve always been “the tall girl.” I was one of a few girls that shot up in 5th-6th grade and had to wait until high school for guys to catch up…and in many cases I’m still waiting on them to catch up.

I’ve lost nearly 50 pounds, but regardless of how much weight I lose I will always be big at 5 foot 9.5 inches tall. 

Being big has always been a hang up for me when it comes to dating. 

Last weekend I went out with a guy who was 6’2 – it was amazing how little and confident I felt. Yesterday I went out with a guy who was like 5’10. In fact my roommate texted me to ask how tall he was while I was out because in less than 3 months of being my roommate she knows how height is such an issue for me. I just have a hard time feeling attractive around guys who are close in height to me and in turn being attracted to them.

As I was talking to my roommate about this after the date and IT HIT ME. Since the average american man is 5’10 and woman is 5’4 if I date guys who are an average height I’m considered/perceived as the BIG one – the weirdo. I then think of my roommate who is 5’4 and her ex boyfriend was like 5’8 and he was considered the LITTLE one – the weirdo.

I can’t win unless I date a guy who is above average in height. My big issue is being the “stand out” or weirdo. 

I want a big tall guy, but they are so far and few in between. My self confidence is always SO different in the presence of other tall people (even other tall woman), because it makes me feel less like a weird giant. 

I’m way above average in terms of height and the only way to not feel big is to be around other above average height people, and this is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships.

I hate that I write people off for not being tall enough, but my self image is so closely connected to the sense of feeling like a big giant and feeling like not the big one is something really important to me right now. I’ve put in too much damn work to not be perceived as BIG.

Volleyball

My roommate and I joined a summer co-ed rec volleyball league that starts tomorrow. We are on a team of a bunch of free agents and our team name is Set to Kill. I played volleyball from junior high through college, but it’s been a while. I hope I don’t embarrass myself!