In one episode of HIMYM they discuss how in most relationships there is a reacher and a settler. Putting aside how often that is the case for relationships in general, I was thinking about my relationships.
–possible trigger warning for some folks about ego/insecurities–
Most of my more successful relationships have been ones where I was in my mind “the settler.” Now don’t get me wrong I’ve done my fair share of “reaching” however it’s really never worked out, I generally end up hurt.
I think a lot of relationship dynamics for me come down to my self-esteem/confidence or lack there of at times. My insecure self has usually found comfort or safety for my fragile ego with someone when I think I’m more of a catch (be it that I was more educated or attractive or happy or caring or cultured, etc).
A big part of caring for someone else is first caring for yourself. I’m better at caring for myself when my ego is inflated. As a Leo, I’ve read so much about how we are really delicate kittens behind our roars. I am such a queen of bravado. I’ve been stuck with a bum wrap for having a big head/ego at times, but it was a tactic I used to say things about myself that I WISHED other people were saying or thinking about me.
I guess what I’m trying to say is at after almost 7 months with T, I couldn’t figure out between us who is reaching and who is settling. I feel like he’s such a catch, but I also feel really good about myself and us. What I’ve come to realize is it’s because I think I’ve found an equal.
I’ve never been in a relationship where I feel like we are on the same level. With T it’s such a back and forth of learning, compliments, humor, caring, sharing, etc. I’m just so happy it’s grotesque and I can’t believe (in a wonderful way) that he’s as happy with me as I am with him.
Sorry I felt like I needed to word vomit this post, I’ll try and get back to our regularly scheduled posts!
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