So as I’ve mentioned here this summer I came to terms with my identity of being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). I started learning more about this identity last January after a particularly traumatizing Christmas at my mom’s.
It’s unbelievable how much my mother’s addiction has shaped me. The more I read and talk with my counselor and ACA group the more I learn about myself, how to cope, and how to choose myself despite being manipulated by an addict. I was taught that anything my mom didn’t essentially like/approve of/suit her was “bad.” And more than anything I have this overwhelming desire to be a “good girl.”
I get guilted for not living in New York or jumping at her every need. She’s 66 (today actually is her birthday which led to a stressful call) and physically healthy. Heck she’s intelligent and funny too. Nothing I do/could do (even again my better sense) is going to help her. She needs to change for herself PERIOD.
This summer I came across this blog and holy hell it’s like I WROTE it. The weirdest part is that she starting writing the day I went to my first ACA meeting. There’s some amazing honestly, sadness, but also humor here too. If you love someone struggling with addiction or just a fan of good writing check it out
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