Tag: MLlove

“You look fantastic”

I saw this guy on Friday – Mr. Navy Lawyer. He e-mailed 10 days ago saying he was going to be in town for the (football) game. When I first got his e-mail it was a few days after Wiley and I broke up. My first thought was…DID ALL THE GUYS FROM MY PAST GET SOME SIGNAL FROM A BEACON SAYING I WAS SINGLE??? I hadn’t really talked to Mr. Navy Lawyer since last year. Which is normal. He comes for a game every year and that’s generally when we just flirt and hang out.

I was having all kinds of thoughts. Part of me didn’t want to see him because I feel sad and broken after the breakup, but part of me thought some flirting and male attention would be a good thing. 

I saw him Friday night. He was in town with an old roommate, so that meant I got to flirt with TWO guys at once…my favorite! Seriously though I had a blast hanging out with them, good conversations, laughter and they refused to let me buy any drinks. Mr. Navy Lawyer kept saying “you look fantastic.” We also ran into a mutual friend of ours that that I hadn’t seen in a while and the mutual friend also said how “fantastic” I looked (while his wife was standing next to him haha). 

I should mention when I first got to the bar Mr. Navy Lawyer practically sat on top of me instead of next to me, with his leg gratuitously placed against mine. But that’s the extent of the touching aside from a hello and goodbye hug. There were some flirtatious texts exchanged after we parted ways that he initiated: “Fantastic to see you tonight. Wish it were more often.” then after a few texts back and forth “I’d love to see you tomorrow. 🙂 I’d love even more for you to visit me in VA Beach.” I appreciate how bold he is at times, but despite our chemistry I’m pretty sure the ship has sailed on us in terms of timing which is fine.  I had told him I was unavailable on Saturday (which was a LIE…I gave myself a mani/pedi and caught up on TiVo, etc.), but I knew just being casual and flirty a second day in a row would have been a challenge because he’s hard to resist. Plus, I am still nursing a broken heart and I don’t think a rebound hookup with someone I used to have feelings for would have been a good idea. 

I guess to point of the story was that I got a nice ego boost that added fuel to my fire to continue to heal and eventually get back out into the dating scene. 

WIW

Last Week: 186.8

This Week: 185.4

Change: -1.4

Total Loss: 37.2

Left to Lose: 17.4/30.4

I’ve been working hard the past 2 months and I love seeing solid losses back to back. I’m down nearly 10 pounds since I got refocused.

I also don’t have much of an appetite post-breakup, I’m eating because I need to, not because I’m particularly hungry. I’m finding comfort in running and music as opposed to food or wine. 

Just Keep Swimming

Thanks for everyone’s kind words on my breakup post. I sorta slept last night, but my eyes are still super heavy today. Luckily work’s been busy and kept my mind off things. However I can’t wait to leave work today and run. Probably run while crying (it’s a new favorite pasttime). I just need to keep moving forward. I’m out of relationship limbo, now I need to get my act together. 

My to do list: Pounding out miles and pounding out resumes. 

Miles from you…

The boy and I have hit a fork in the road of our relationship. The hardest part is that we both still very much love each other, but want very different things in life. It seems that the fork in the road leads to a dead end either way. We’ve had two really rough weekends and are taking a break to try and sort things out. 

Most of my life has been such a mess that I have developed superior coping skills over the years. However in the past I found solace and comfort in eating, these days I’m finding it in running and writing (in my old paper journal more than here).

I may not be writing here much, but I’m reading and running.

Can the Roadrunner tame the Coyote?

I think W may be serious about shedding some weight. He’s made off hand comments about losing some of his gut before – which is really the only place he needs to lose. He has solid arms and phenomenal legs (I’m certain its because he’s a Sagittarius which is represented by the centaur and he’s definitely half horse from the waist down ifyouknowwhatimean).

The reason I think he may be serious this time because he went to the doctor yesterday and when they weighed him he was 10 pounds heavier than he thought he was (which was 15 pounds heavier than he’d like to be). So now he says he wants to lose 30 pounds and is asking me for advice.

I mean I’m happy to guide him, but I also fear I may get frustrated with him when he’s making poor decisions. I can understand the ignorance most people have about what they put in their bodies and I’m generally not frustrated when people don’t know better, but if I’m going to take the time to educate him I’d hate to watch him fail.

However I do think it’d be EASY for him to drop initial weight. I often ask him if he’s an elf because I’m pretty sure his diet consists exclusively of candy, candy corn, candy canes and syrup. To be fair it’s more like candy, beer, regular soda, cheese, and ranch dressing.

We shall see. I recently read that 3 major factors in a successful relationship are similar views on religion, drinking habits and diet.

Everything in Moderation

Including my boyfriend.

We’re been dating for a little over 3 months and it’s safe to say we’ve had a great “honeymoon” period. We’ve spent A LOT of time together these past 3 months – which is extra impressive because we live 100 miles apart. I’ve sacrificed a lot to see him as much as I do. However essentially gaining 8 pounds since we’ve been dating is not cutting it. I am not willing to sacrifice the year of work I put in taking off 42 pounds and I still want to lost ~25 pounds. Plus I know that weight loss and maintenance is a FOREVER commitment.

I signed up for that half marathon in April and I am NOT ready for it. I CAN be, but I have to WORK WORK WORK for it. I need to train. I need to be running 5 days a week and I need to eat as cleanly as possible, NO CHEATING AT ALL.

I keep thinking about this post I wrote in October:

Sunday, October 10, 2010

3 Hour Throwdown

Days like today I’m actually thankful I don’t have a significant other or kids. I spent 3 hours today exercising. I ran 5 miles to the gym – in 90 degree weather mind you despite the fact that we had a cold snap last week. Then did an hour of yoga at the gym and ran 5 miles back home. 

3 hours of just exercise and I love it. It made me really think about kicking into full marathon training gear because I have the time for it.

I remember thinking how hard it must be to balance a significant other or a family WHILE trying to lose weight and how having time was a perk of being young and single. Running was my boyfriend…haha.

Now here I am trying to balance my time between things I love – running and my boyfriend. I should also mention my friends and me time – I’ve not given enough time to those things either recently.

I’ve seen him EVERY weekend in 2011, which is great, but not healthy or balanced. Today I decided that instead of spending this weekend with him, I am spending it on focusing myself. I am going to work on my running/social plans/schedule, get outside and run, prep some meals, see my friends, sleep, catch up on tivo and laundry. Am I going to miss him? Yes, but I need to make time for all the other things I love too. I need to work on balance.

Here’s part of an email I wrote him (I often express how I really feel better in written words than out loud- I blame all my blogging) I’ve never hid anything much from you guys, so why start now.

I could so easily get wrapped up entirely in you – and sometimes that’s exactly what I want. It’s crazy how different my life is now. For YEARS my weekends were all about me, my wants and my schedule. For many of those years I was lazy or slept too much or drank too much or shopped too much – but in 2010 I got a handle on my life and so much of it came from diet and exercise. I know that you don’t really understand, but it’s more than how I look. It’s how I feel. It’s having control. It’s challenging myself and pushing my limits. It’s knowing that I’m working harder than most people. It’s that I’m making the  hard choice to be healthy. I have never felt more confident or in control of my life when I was training for and running those half marathons in October. However it’s hard to keep up with the training and lifestyle that it takes to be in an elite class of runners. It was a daily challenge when it was just me.
 
Now that you’re in the mix it’s hard. It’s hard for me to put off getting to see you because I have to go run. Or for me to leave you for an hour or so to go run. It’s hard to not want to have a glass of wine with you or resist all the delicious food you cook. It’s funny you always say you are a hungry guy and you love food and I can SO relate, but I spent last year sacrificing my love of food for running. I wouldnt have ANYTHING bad in the house because it’s so hard for me to resist temptation. However I don’t regret any of the sacrifices I’ve made for running – it is worth it and I know that. I hate that I have to sacrifice some time with you, but it’s how it has to be, how I need it to be.

He handled my email well “I told you from the beginning that I am your number one fan and will always support your choices and decisions. So whatever that means you need me to do, I will.”

So I outlined for him what my plans are:

I guess the best way for you to support and encourage me is to understand my plans – what I have done in the past and what works for me
*Run/exercise 4-5x a week. Even if that means leaving you on the couch, or not coming to see you until later – you maybe even have to push me out of the bed to go, but I want you too.
*I am also going to cut back on my drinking. Only drink alcohol 1x a week – no casual beer or wine here and there anymore for me – or if i do it’s all i get for the week.
*No soda at all.
*I may bring my own breakfast/lunch foods to your place or cook 2 different things when you are here. I generally eat oatmeal and yogurt with fruit in the morning. a turkey sandwich thin midday. lunch, a pre/post gym protein snack, dinner.
*I also need to cut back dramatically on sugars (sweets, carbs)
*No eating after 9pm

I know this may sound crazy to you, but it’s what I stuck to last year and what I’d like to keep up this year too. I know that you love me no matter what I look like, but I really want nothing more than to be HEALHTY – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  I need to make sure I’m working on all those areas. Physical health will aid to my mental and emotional health. I’m not asking you to understand, but I’m happy I have you as my number 1 cheerleader.

He’s so wonderful and I am so happy, but I know that I could be so much more happy if I had my fitness and nutrition where it once was in addition to balance overall.

I would much appreciate any advice from those of you that are successfully (or at least trying to be successful) balancing your fitness with your significant other and your life in general.