Tag: MLlove

3 guys with the same name

As much as my love life isn’t fitness related directly, it SO is indirectly. Since losing ~40 pounds I found myself dating pretty steadily from Aug to Nov of last year. November was when I started dating Wiley and we officially broke up in October. Well now that I’ve healed some, I decided to dip my toes back into the dating world. It’s turned into a circus as per usual and I secretly love it. 

So over the past month or so I’ve had 3 guys with the SAME NAME in my life – although one of them spells it differently. 

One guy was an accidental date. He was a friend of a friend that I’d hung out with a few times in a group. I innocently contacted him about wanting to hang out as just friends, but after we hung out he made it clear he wanted to date me. We had a lot in common and had a fun time, but I wasn’t interested in dating him which was a touch awkward. Still walking on glass a bit. 

The 2nd guy is Mr. Navy Lawyer who you may remember from a few posts. Most recently I saw him in October right after Wiley and I broke up when he was in town for a football game. The break up was too fresh then, but Mr. Navy Lawyer has always been the one that got away (and me for him). Since I’m driving home for Christmas we’ve discussed the possibility of me stopping in Virginia Beach where he is to see him. Not sure the exact capacity of the possible visit, but I’m open to his suggestions. 

Meanwhile the 3rd guy was someone I’ve already been out with 3 times recently, but wasn’t sure how I felt. After talking to some wise friends I had the A-HA moment that I was self-sabotaging myself. So I let go and ended up having a really good time with him on our 4th and 5th dates this weekend. So in a matter of 2 days he went from being lukewarm to pretty red hot. I’ve enjoyed our conversations, banter and the making out is pretty awesome too. It’s different and new which is exactly what I need. 

I failed to mention that the 3rd guy is a Captain in the Army. Which is funny because he’s at the same Rank level as Mr. Lawyer Navy who is a Lieutenant in the Navy. Look at me rocking out at my Military Bingo.

God it feels good to be young, single and alive!

A relationship is like a really great novel – there are twists and turns and secrets and hidden meanings. You want to circle, underline, leave notes in the margins; you want to flip through its pages and take it to bed and putting it down will feel impossible. A first date, though, is like Cliff Notes. Convenient and hasty and lacking the depth we’ve come to relish. No contest there, really.

Another gem from thought catalog that I found this morning, but related well to this evening.

Wiley and I talked on the phone today – we’ve been texting semi-regularly as friends which has been good. He is a very special person to me and I’d hate not knowing what’s going on with him. Midway into our 30 minute conversation he asked me if I was dating anyone. I was vague, but confirmed that I was dating. He then offered up that his girlfriend is “essentially living with him.” After what 6 weeks. I mean he sounds happy, but at the same time I can’t help but feel sad for him. He’s turning 29 on Friday and I know his life isn’t where he’d like it be or where he thought it would be. I just hope he doesn’t find himself in a situation he can’t get out of. I want the best for him and granted I don’t know much about this new girl, but I find it hard to believe that he won the love lottery that quickly. I know I’m not the right girl for him, but that doesn’t mean I want him to settle either. 

Weekend in Review

I’ve been having writers block lately for some reason, hopefully it won’t last too long! So here is my weekend in bullet points. 

  • Ate and drank pretty very well.
  • Went on 2 different dates – one was hilariously tragic, the other was a 3rd date with a guy that I’m still on the fence about.
  • Ran a 10K race (that was only 6 miles – boo) in under an hour.
  • Went to a fabulous show choir performance at the university.
  • Caught up on tivo and laundry.
  • Applied for an awesome job and prepped for an upcoming phone interview.

Meetup Success!

I had such a fun time with these ladies. We talked about all kinds of things, from work to running to NYC to gossip to eating habits to gym memberships to full house to working in porn (okay I brought that up in reference to my boobs).

Lots of laughter and great conversation. It made me wish I could be around such positive, fun, health-conscious, urban women on a regular basis.

The highlight of the night for me came as we were saying our goodbyes and 94monkeys told me I was just like how I represented myself on my blog. That was such a compliment! I strive to really be authentic (both the good and the bad of my life is here) and it was great to know that I accurately portray myself.

Looking forward to another meetup in December!

8 mile

Yesterday was when marathon training was supposed to officially start. However I had to work super late and I didn’t want to run past 9pm. So I woke up early today to run yesterday’s 3 miles before work and then ran today’s 5 miles after work. 

I feel good. Tomorrow is a rest day because I have a second date with the gentleman from Sunday night.

To paraphrase Barney Stinson on HIMYM, whenever I feel sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead.

I may have went on an OKC date tonight and may have gotten a goodnight kiss. It was different, but exciting nonetheless.

File this under: life goes on. fake it, till you make it.

Unraveling

ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GO TO SPIN CLASS WHERE I COULD SWEAT AND CRY PUBLICLY IN THE DARK.

But NO, spin class was FULL. FULL. It’s never been full in the 14 month history of me going to gym class.

It was the straw that broke the camels back. I had to drive home before I lost it. Which meant sobbing, gutwretching sobs in my bed just now.

I am not doing well guys.

It doesn’t help that my newsfeed is chock full of pictures and updates of Wiley and his new girlfriend. What the serious fuck. He rarely used facebook, he’s acting out of character overall and hurting me in the process.

I broke down privately a few times at work today. I just don’t want to be at work anymore. I want to be at a new job back in the northeast near all my friends and family. I’ve wanted that for a long time and especially now.

I’m also struggling because next Friday, the 18th, will mark 4 years since I lost my dad. I can’t even get into that now.

In “strange ways to kick me when. I’m down” news my arch-nemisis (yes I have one) got married this past Friday. She looked beautiful and happy. It made me sick and jealous all at once. Especially the pictures of her dad walking her down the aisle.

I’m drowning in my glass case of emotions and I don’t know how to fix myself. All I can do is write. Writing has always been my escape and a way to heal. Believe me my paper journal is chock full of pages of the past few days, but I needed to put it here too.

I’m not the biggest Bible verse/Scripture person, but this has popped up in my life twice in the past 24 hours:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

When you reframe setbacks as opportunities, you will find that you gain much more than you have lost.

Thanks to those who have supported me throughout this break up. I have no ill will towards Wiley and I know he’s hurting too. He’s just choosing to deal with it differently. I hate it, don’t get me wrong, but it puts a “finality” on us as a couple that I couldn’t truly bring myself to think about. 

Regardless I know I’m on the path I’m supposed to be on. I can continue to move forward on my journey. I’m learning to trust God more than I trust myself. 

FLOORED

5.5 weeks ago Wiley and I broke up. We’ve slowly talked as friends briefly the past 3 weeks. I texted him just now to see when we can catch up about NOLA and his brother’s wedding. He calls me to tell me met someone else and then minutes later it went facebook official. 

I am shocked beyond words. About to pound miles at the gym.

*CORRECTION: We last saw each other 5.5 weeks ago, we we didn’t break up until Oct 3. So that’s one month. ONE MONTH. And we’ve only been irregularly talking as friends for 2 weeks. Apparently, further heartbreak has affected my brain.