Tag: MLvulnerability

Small Gym

I found out the small/older Gold’s gym that is closer to my house closed last weekend. I was weirdly sad. I went there maybe 5 times and always got bad vibes while I was there. I did like that it was closer than the shiny, new Gold’s MAX that I regularly go to and I know working out this summer is going to be hard due to my crazy work schedule, but I’ve made peace with it because – I’m an outdoor runner now.

I think the old me would have looked at that gym closing as an excuse not to work out, but the always improving me sees it as an opportunity to run outside.

If I can’t make it to my Gold’s gym then I can run around my neighborhood like I’ve done for the past few Sundays and particularly the past 2 days.

An Inspiration?

I got to see a bunch of friends over the past 10 days since I finally was able to get out of the south for a few days. Now also mind you I haven’t seen any of my friends from home since Christmas aka free running/measuring/life changing. 

I had been a tad frustrated that dropping 22 pounds yielded little feedback from people here, but at the same time it’s been a gradual loss and harder to notice I suppose. It was great to see people who haven’t seen me in 4 months and hear them tell me see TOTALLY notice. A few people even called me svelte – that is such a great word I love it. 

What was really awesome was seeing my friend Star and her telling me today that seeing me and following my journey “inspired her to get focused on getting in shape.” Seriously that’s the best compliment someone could give me. 

The past 10 days have been HECTIC and my running has suffered a bit, but I plan on hitting it hard this week. I even am planning a PRE-WORK run on Thursday. Last Thursday I actually ran before I had to head out of town and it was great to start my day with a little 2 mile run. 

The next few weeks of working are going to crazy, please keep my in your thoughts and give me strength to run as much as I can and to resist the temptation of bad eating choices.

Tweet

I just tweeted that “I’m gonna make the track my bitch this afternoon.”

I talk a big game, but I think I’ll still end up getting bitch slapped by the track today.

Also I have like binged on the sugar the past 2 days…no bueno. I can avoid cake and sweets when they are not around me. So note to self don’t volunteer to bring dessert to a gathering because I’ll end up eating the leftovers and/or licking the bowl clean (which I sadly did yesterday). 

I hope to knock out a total of 15 miles this week. I should be on par if I do ~5 between today and tomorrow.

TMI

So I know nobody reads this which is fine, I haven’t given out the link….yet. However regardless I’d like to share the fact that I think I’ve lost some weight in my boobs, well specifically my left one which was always noticeably (at least to me) bigger, but as of lately they seems to be evening out. That is truly a small victory!

How Do You Measure a Year?

I knew in 2010 I wanted to make big life changes. Aftering a conversation with a friend during a long roadtrip I took the challenge to measure my year in “cups of coffee” as per the song seasons of love in RENT.

For the past 2 weeks I have been tracking my coffee intake and it got me thinking about tracking other things as well. This blog will be my living journal as I track these aspects of my life:

My weight
How often I go to the gym
What I did at the gym
How many miles I run on a tredmill
How many calories I burned at the gym
If I have not eaten after 9pm
How many times a day I wake up early to take a long walk with my dog

I’m committed to changing my diet and lifestyle this year.
I have been on a half ass diet for most of my adult life, that has yielded limited or temporary results.

I’d say the last time I really felt good about myself was my sophomore year of college/beginning of junior year. Looking back I really looked pretty great. Strangely enough I have no idea how much I weighed then either, therefore I don’t have how far off I am from getting there again.
I’d say I was also in decent shape my last semester of grad school. I even have TONS of great clothes from that period that I would love to wear again.

Well I’m dedicated this year. I’m testing my self, my mind, my body and my soul.
If I’m not successful in OH-TEN than I think I’m going to commit to being fat.

My dad struggled most of his life with weight and yo-yoing. He was heavy for most of my youth and then in high school he lost 100 pounds with slimfast, diet, and exercise. He even kept it off for 6-8years. It was when he retired that he started putting on weight again and obviously defeated he let him self gain nearly all of that weight back. His unhappiness with his body ultimately led him to get gastric bypass surgery which killed him.

I want to love my body, whichever body I am supposed to have and maintain. So if things don’t work out for me this year (which is a trial run, which if successful I plan to keep up for the rest of my life) than I want to stop trying to reach for something that is impossible and just learn to love myself where ever I’m at.

Now don’t get me wrong I will always want to stay healthy…I want stay active and try and eat right, but I think this is a test of my state of mind, body and soul.

Seriously, why halfway diet if you get no results. My body tends to like where it’s at regardless of what I eat or don’t eat, exercise or don’t exercise. So in 2011 if big changes haven’t happened I think I’m going to be content with how I look, but I can’t be content unless I try my darnedest within reason.

I have no plans to act like a biggest loser contestant, but I do plan on monitoring my sugar intake (my mom did that and transformed her body and her life),I also want to eliminate late night eating (only liquids after 9pm), in addition to going to the gym at least 4 times a week (I would like to try and get to a 10 minute mile on the treadmill), I want to walk more (morning walks with Freddie before work to get my blood pumping, parking farther at work, etc).

Ideally I’d like to lose 5 lbs a month (which means 40 pounds by my birthday which would be magical). I am only going to weigh myself on Fridays, instead of obsessively weighing myself. I’m on a kick of writing lots of things down (thanks in part to my coffee count) I have made a nightly checklist so to speak to keep my self accountable. I also think writing all this in blog form also makes me accountable. I not only said it, but I WROTE it for the whole world to see (not like the whole world reads this), so it’s pressure, but good pressure.

My mantra may come from a weird place, but it has been speaking to me nearly a year now:

I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

It’s from Radiohead’s song “Creep”, but the lyrics really stood out to me when David Cook covered it in his old band Axium. Obviously I’m not looking to fit popculture’s definition of perfection, but rather the best version of myself.

If I meet my goal, I would also like to get those lyrics tattooed on my side/ribs. Recently I been to writing the lyrics everywhere to serve as a reminder of the task at hand.

I think this is all truly attainable. The only way I could fail is if I LET MYSELF FAIL.

I encourage you all to ask me how I’m doing and to keep me in your thoughts and prayers on my journey this year