Author: jaj05002

35. DC/NoVA. Fitness Enthusiast. Balance Seeker. Recovering Workaholic. Healing Journey. Weight Watchers. Loud Laugher. Fiery Leo. Theatre Junkie. Music Aficionado. Avid Writer. Pom Mom. Lawnguyland Native.

Song: Teenage Dream. Artist: Glee Newcomer Darren Criss & Tufts University’s Beelzebubs on background vocals.

If for some reason you live under a rock and haven’t heard this yet, stop and listen. I am so behind on my tivo, however so many people were talking about this yesterday that I checked it out and have been listening to it like non-stop since.

Seriously a capella music is one of my FAVORITES and I’m a huge fan of this song despite not generally liking Katy Perry. I saw this quote today from former MTV VJ Dave Holmes: “I’ve done the calculations and there’s no getting around it- the a capella "Teenage Dream” from Glee is the greatest thing in human history.“

The more I think about the possible cultural impact of this song it excites me. This is a gay teen singing this song to another gay teen on a network show. Amazing. I hope that the people who are a fan of the song also realize the social impact as well. Mainstreaming a song centered about love and sex between 2 gay teens – I hope Glee keeps it up!

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/)

Blast from the past

This weekend I am seeing an old flame.

He is the guy who has ALWAYS made me feel like the most beautiful girl in any room.

I’ve know him for over 4 years, but our lives rarely cross paths. Him and I have flip flopped living in parts of the country practically since I met him. We lived in the same place for 10 weeks and we dated for about 5 of them, other than that I’ve seen him 4 other times.

Well he is going to be in town this weekend. It’s been just over a year since I saw him last, which was also pretty much when I was my heaviest. However when I MET him back in Summer ‘06 I was also around my heaviest. He seems to lust after like me at any size.

He is a guy that has a lot going for him. He is a lawyer. For the Navy. In addition to be tall, cute and blonde, verrrry blonde – to the point that my friends call him “doll hair” (despite not seeing him often he actually has met my best friend and my sister). Both of which find him cocky and bit smug (the same thing could be said about me at times), but I like a good cocky/confident combination.

I have mixed emotions about this weekend. I mean I’m going to LOVE flaunting my trim body, cute new clothes and awesome haircut. And since he is a Navy JAG he actually has toned up from basic training as well as far as I can tell via Facebook.

He’s someone I don’t keep up with on a regular basis, but we always seem to keep tabs on one another. When we do see eachother we pick up right where we left off, we get along really well, always laugh and have tons to talk about. I just always keep my guard up with him because I know how infrequently our paths cross and how devastated I was when I moved away. Whenever I see him I try to have no expectations of how things will go and try to have fun and just go with the flow of things. 

I’m nervous, anxious and excited!

Our Last Day

3 years ago today I had a fabulous daddy-daughter day (we were dorks and really called them that) with my dad, little did I know that a week later he would be taken from me.

I was living in North Texas at the time, 5 months into my first job out of grad school and I was going through a rocky patch. My dad lived 2.5 hours away and wanted to come up for the day to cheer me up. Plus my dad was having gastric bypass surgery that Thursday and I really wanted to see him before then.

Part of the reason I moved to Texas was to be closer to my dad. My parents got divorced my freshmen year of high school and he stayed local, but once I went to college we never lived in the same state. I was in Connecticut and he was in New York or Florida or Texas.

I saw my dad so much in those 5 months we both lived in Texas it was wonderful, some of our best times. I had a lot of ups and downs with my dad, but our last few months were so much fun. He was the funniest person I ever knew. I am just like him in so many ways and I miss him constantly.

That last time we hung out I drove up to Oklahoma so we could go to the casino and play some slot machines. Well on the 20 mile drive to Oklahoma I get pulled over on a Sunday afternoon for doing 77 in a 70. I honestly wasn’t aware of my speed because it was an open road and because my dad and I were singing along to the Aida soundtrack on the top of our lungs. I was so upset about the ticket, but my dad comforted me and made me feel better, he always did. After the casino we came back to my apartment, rearranged furniture, and just hung out. I didn’t want him to leave.

I had a sinking feeling about everything. That was the day he told me he was getting gastric bypass over a lapband. I wasn’t a fan of his decision to have either surgery, particularly not gastric bypass. He was 6’2 and 300-325 pounds MAYBE. He has lost 100 pounds through diet and exercise when I was in highschool and he kept it off for 8 years before quickly gaining it back after he retired. I was disappointed that he was resorting to surgery as a quick fix, a quick fix he didn’t need because he BARELY qualified for the surgery because he wasn’t “that” obese. He had been talking about lap band for 6 months and talked to many doctors, went to consults etc. Then within a week of his surgery his doctor (if you can call him that) talks him into gastric bypass.

I’m already sitting at my desk crying so I’ll wait a bit to write more.

I love you all, life is so short.

Take control of your life now, not only for yourselves, but for your (future) kids too.

Love the top half of the quote – it makes me push harder and get stronger, as opposed to cry.

I’ve never seen it in picture form before. Sadly this picture is floating around the thinspo world, I wanted to alter it to make it appropriate for me.

People already notice me. I’m already special.

I’m just trying to take it to the next level. Perfect isn’t the best word, I just want to be the best version of myself. MIND.BODY.SOUL.

WIW – Cheese Edition

  • Last Week: 179.8
  • This Week: 180.4
  • Change: +0.6

Ugh not happy about seeing the 180s again, but I have not had the most normal two weeks either. I’ve been in 6 states in 2 weeks. I never thought myself to be one who likes structure and a schedule, but apparently when it comes to food I do. I didn’t like traveling so much and not knowing what my food options (or at times lack there of) were. Apparently St. Louis is like the new Wisconsin because I don’t remember the last time I ate so much cheese. My friend Sara has a cheese addiction, but I can take cheese or leave it usually. I don’t crave it and it’s not even something I normally gravitate towards, but apparently my only options in St. Louis were how I wanted my cheese. It was all delicious, but also NOT normal for me.

Thankfully I don’t plan on any major traveling until I go home for Christmas so I can keep to my schedule and knock out these 10ish pounds before New Years!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

For normal people this may be TMI, but like we always say we aren’t normal.

I’m sad to be checking out of my hotel today. Aside from a great conference, great friends and a GREAT view from my window I will also miss all the mirrors in my hotel room.

There are 2 full length mirrors and a bathroom mirror and let me tell you I’ve spent a lot of time naked in my room checking myself out. I don’t have a full length mirror in my apartment and there is nowhere else where I think I could be naked in a full length mirror. Mostly I checked out my legs to be honest – especially my Achilles heel/tendon because I’m obsessed with that body party. It’s interesting how I see less imperfections and find myself pleased with more of my body than ever before in my life. I’m actually happy where my body is, but I’m excited about where it’s going.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to need to purchase a full length mirror in my near future. 

PS – I got a 5K run in this morning. I’m going to miss running in a city and riverside 🙁

Multi State 10K

I had myself a nice little multi-state 10K. I prob did about a mile of it in Illinois, it wasn’t very exciting – mostly highways and casinos. Went back over the bridge and then out and about downtown St. Louis including running around Busch Stadium where the Cardinals play.

The weather was so crisp and the leaves are beautiful right now. I’m hoping to get in another run tomorrow morning before our closing banquet!