I remember Sunday, November 18, 2007 like yesterday. You don’t forget the day your world changes forever. I was already broken before that day, but the trauma and ptsd of losing you has had a bigger ripple than I could have imagined as a naive 24 year old.

I hate November 18.

I especially hate when it’s a Sunday.

I hate that you died at 58.

I hate that it shattered me and I’m still picking up the pieces.

I hate that you’re not here.

I hate how so many people in my life never knew you.

I hate how much I miss you still.

I hate that I have to write a post like this for people to remember you or think of you.

I hate how surprised I am that I still get so sad on this day.

Measuring Monday on a Friday: College Jobs

Ok here is part two of this past Monday’s free-write. More about my grad school years and beyond in the future. 

In college I was granted work study money, I want to say to the tune of $1,800/semester or something and I was determined earn to each every dollar. Weeks into my freshman year I got a work study job working in the Associate Dean of Liberal Arts office for about 10/hr week. My workstation was in a fishbowl of an office space, but I was facing a busy hallway and often got to see friends (or crushes) and people watch.  Again I loved this job and kept it for quite a while. My favorite task was signing the Associate Dean’s name on letters to admitted students, I perfected my Jean Blue signature, it was beautiful, although to my disappointment nothing like her real one. I actually still doodle her name from time to time! While working for the Associate Dean I sometimes covered the admin’s desk upstairs over lunch. She was the admin of a few Liberal Arts departments and her desk was stationed in a hallway full of professors from Political Science, Languages, Theatre. I loved working upstairs, the professors were great and this workstation had a COMPUTER. That meant I could get paid to play Snood and talk on AOL Instant Messenger. I ended up working 15-20/hours a week in the College of Liberal Arts through my Sophomore year.

Then prior to my Junior year I met the new Campus Fitness Center Director and we hit it off, I think I gave her a tour of campus or something. I ended up picking up a work study shift at the Rec Center at the front desk for about 8/hours a week which meant I needed to cut back my Liberal Arts hours because I was only allowed to work my work study job for 20 hours/week. Then by October of my Junior year I got selected as a mid-year replacement for a Resident Assistant position which meant I needed to cut back on work study hours yet again since as an RA we were only allowed work 10/hours a week outside of work. I ended up keeping the Fitness Center job, again I loved the people watching and opportunity to be social with other employees.

My senior year I returned as a RA, but I wasn’t granted work study money because of being an RA which gave me free room and board (valued at $10K/year). I think my Financial Aid packaged changed the year before, but because I was a mid-year hire I was still able to have a small amount of work study dollars which I spread across the rest of fall and then spring when I was at the Rec Center or maybe the Rec Center paid me wages as opposed to work study? As a college administrator now myself, I know more about there different budget lines then I did when I was a student. The free room and board as an RA was great (thank you ~$20K of loans I didn’t have to take out), but I needed spending money so the summer before Senior year I went to the ol’ Career Center and looked through the “babysitting book.” I ended up babysitting for a family with little boy who was 9 months old at the time 2x a week from 9am-2pm in their beautiful home about 20 minutes from campus. Again, I loved this job. The family was great, I adored the little boy, they always had great food in the fridge, and there was a drive through Dunkin’ Donuts right by their house. I always grabbed a iced coffee prior to getting there and sipped it all day. Plus I was getting paid CASH.

If you think I couldn’t squeeze anymore college years employment in think again. My first two college summers I supplemented my income by doing office work at both my Dad and Aunt’s offices. Lots of filing, mailing, opening mail and copying. The real game changer was the 4 summers working for the new student Orientation office at my undergrad. 2 of the summers were short stints as just a volunteer Orientation Leader, but the other 2 summers had me working all summer as an Orientation Intern with the extra perk of free on campus housing all summer too. I started my last summer intern year the day after I graduated from college and worked until I had to leave for grad school.

Measuring Monday: High School Jobs

In January 1998, after the holidays I got my first job at my church’s Rectory, I was 14 and in 9th grade. I got the gig because at the time I was an altar server, one of the first female altar servers after a rule change in the Catholic Church thankyouverymuch. Now, I had sporadically babysat for a few years prior and continued to do so, but this was my first job on a payroll – making a whopping  $4.25/hr. I generally worked on Wednesdays from 4pm-7pm. Much of that time was spent listening to Z100 on the clock radio and doing homework. Oh and there was that one time that a funeral got scheduled, but I failed to write it down in all the like 5 places I was supposed to, so the family and funeral home showed up to a locked church…oooooooooopps. Thankfully it got worked out quickly and I didn’t get fired due to my misstep.

Each subsequent year of high school I picked up an additional gig, summer after 10th grade I worked my first of 3 summers at a Day Camp near my house while keeping the Rectory job. I loved my summers as a Camp Counselor – I got a delicious free lunch every day, got to work on my tan, make new friends, and some of the male Counselors were babes. I also liked the kids, I worked with Kindergarten boys my first summer – they were my favorite. Then 1st grade girls and finally 6th grade girls. As a Counselor, we only got paid a small stipend, but tips at the end of the summer were awesome!

The summer prior to my Senior year of high school I picked up another job at CVS, which was right across from the Camp, so during the summer on days that I was working at CVS I’d walk across the street for a 4:30-9:30pm shift after an 8am-4pm day at Camp. I knew I had a good work ethic, but I also wanted to be away from my house as much as possible and the spending money was critical since by this time I was paying for most of my own clothes, school supplies, etc. By this time, summer 2000, the minimum wage has risen to $5.15/hr. I also l really loved my time at CVS, being on register and facing the shelves were my favorite. My coworkers were also a cast of characters which made working there entertaining. I was working at CVS was when “ExtraCare Card” launched, I wanna say February-March 2001. I still have my OG card.  While working there I ended up picking up some hours in the Pharmacy as a tech and went to a few weekend training for some “certifications.” I actually got paid a little more for the hours I worked in the Pharmacy which was great. Plus I really like Pharmacy too, well except for dealing with insurance companies, but nobody like them!

Even after I left for college I came back to work at CVS over my 5-6 week Winter break my freshman year. On New Years Eve 2001 (going into 2002) about an hour before the 6pm holiday closing the store was held up… at gunpoint… by a former employee… who I hugged only minutes before when I saw him in the store. I was actually in Pharmacy when the robbery happened, but my friend (an elementary school turned he friend who I got the job at CVS a year prior) was the one held up in the office when the robber slipped in behind her. I didn’t know we were robbed until after the fact, but needless to say my CVS career did not extend through whatever shifts I was scheduled to work the rest of Winter break. I actually was subpoenaed to testify at the Grand Jury trial months later which required me to get excused from college in CT to go to Long Island for a long weekend. Despite this blemish on my CVS experience, I am still a very loyal CVS customer.

If you thought I worked a lot in high school, then spoiler alert: I worked even more in college.

Measuring Mondays: Orange

This time of year is one of my favorites, mainly because it’s the season of ORANGE. Orange has been my favorite color for 15 years, but that was not always the case. I was definitely a pink girl growing up and then transitioned as a tween-teen to liking blue (and black like most teens I’m sure). I actually actively disliked orange, I think because my mom didn’t like the color and in my life’s quest to please her (like most children in alcoholic and dysfunctional homes) I also adapted her dislike for the color orange.

So some quick backstory that you may not know about me is that I love me some color coordination. It was particularly intense in my college and grad school years – which I assume is rooted in the fact that I had worn a school uniform for 12 years and was excited to finally express myself through how I dressed. While in college I spent my summers being a new student Orientation Leader (OL) and each summer our OL shirts were a different color to correspond with each summer’s theme. I remember the summer I went through new student orientation the OLs had orange shirts and remember thinking at first yuck! However, orientation ended up being a life-changing experience for me and those shirts really held a special place in my heart.

My first year as an OL the shirts were red and I accessorized like whoa – red sunglasses, red shoes, red jewelry. The next summer, summer 2003 the shirts were going to be light blue with orange writing on it. I decided to accessorize with orange because I already owned a ton of blue things and I think I was secretly looking for an excuse to go shopping! So I bought orange sneakers, orange headbands, orange socks, even an orange (flip)phone case. However, when I actually got my OL shirt the accent color was more golden than orange and I was annoyed because I had all this orange stuff. However, I decided to wear it any way that summer and it ended up being a really amazing summer. It was the summer I found my confidence and really began to step into my authentic self. The color orange was a physical representation of this for me. Plus I quickly began to like how liking orange was quirky and different (like me). I also liked how loud and unapologetic orange is (also like me). Orange isn’t for everybody and neither am I! I must say I really didn’t know how long this color obsession would last, but as I’m typing this in my kitchen that is brimming with orange accents all even just without eyeshot I can tell you it’s here for life.

I think another key experience that really locked in my love for orange was my time working at Auburn University. I first went down there in the summer of 2006 for a 10-week internship. I had interviewed with a number of schools that winter as part of a national summer internship process. There were a lot of items in Auburn’s pro column and I’d be lying if I said that one of their school colors being orange wasn’t on that list. However, most people think orange was the main reason I decided to spend a summer in Alabama, which wasn’t the case. It was an all-around superb summer, so much so that I ended up working down there full time for almost 4 years. I do think living in a college town that loved the color orange as much as I did made my love for orange grow even more. Some of my favorite memories are being in a sea of 80,000+ fans in orange at Auburn football games.

In term of my love of orange, I definitely wear it, but not as much as people may assume. I actually really like SEEING the color orange, so I often have a lot of orange items around me. My reusable water bottles are all orange, my purse is currently orange, I have tons of orange coffee mugs and kitchenware, my bath towels and bath mat are orange, orange sheets on the bed, I was also able to convince my fiance for one orange accent wall in the master bedroom. If I have a choice of color for something like a notebook, marker, or cup I’m always going to pick orange. Plus my little Pom Freddie is also orange and yes, that fact also drew me to him all those years ago.

Orange you glad I wrote my little ode to my favorite color?!

Drag Brunch in Baltimore with friends including someone’s mom and guncle!

I give tips with my mouth to drag queens I really like… (please note Sara’s MOM took this pic)

Halloween 2018 makeup reveal is TONIGHT!!!
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Here’s a look back at some previous years!
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Fun fact: I love over the top makeup!
Most people don’t know this about me because I wear almost no makeup on a regular basis. That’s because if I can’t wear giant fake eyelashes daily than why even bother!

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Honestly doing my Halloween makeup is one of my favorite forms of creativity each year. I’m glad to have tapped into my creativity more through some other channels these past few months, but Halloween make-up is always a favorite.

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Tonight I’m revealing my 2018 makeup. Like most years I get inspired almost a full year ahead of time so I’ve been waiting to put my look to the test. Only once back have I done a test run of my makeup and that was back in 2010. I like the excitement of having it all come together for the big night!

Holy sh*t I did it! Tonight I finished tagging the last of all 3,139 posts on my blog! I literally started this at the end of June and worked at it little by little. I created QUITE A FEW categories to tag. Over time I recognized the themes within the subcategories are: weight loss, fitness, love, music, goals, self care (physical), self care (mental/emotional), and changes.
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These categories are the chapters of my story, I need to shape and polish what I have but between my Measuring Life blog that I’ve had since 2010+ the 4 other smaller blogs I had from 2006-2010 + all my paper journals = my book/play/musical.
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My website is the next undertaking, which I want to have a soft launch on November 18 which is the 11th anniversary of my fathers death.
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Thank you all for your support!

My new kicks FINALLY arrived. Who knew it would take an act of Congress for my running store @runpacers to track down a pair of @hokaoneone Arahi 2 in women’s 11. I literally told the store send me any color I don’t care – which is the usual case especially when stores only generally have 1 pair of women’s 11s. This color combo isn’t bad although I’m not really a purple person.
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#tallgirlproblems #bigfeetproblems