I had a breakthrough this week that took me by surprise.
For context my mother is a mentally unstable alcoholic and has been especially difficult for the last 21 years after my parents split. My Dad died unexpectedly in November 2007, which was 5 months into my professional career.
#selfcare #recovery #workaholic #deaddadsclub #alignment
This was my day yesterday:
13.5K steps from one helluva 16 hour work day aka running the first day of a massive 2-day, 450 person paid event in the scorching heat and while managing a crisis. We had to readjust schedules and communicate with colleagues (you should see the amount of calls and texts) due to a mid-day GAS LEAK from construction at my event site. It shut down some main buildings for a few hours as well as all dining/catering services. Have you ever ordered $1400 of pizza because we had to last night! Thank goodness this was my 5th of 6 back to back events and we were able to adjust as smoothly as possible!
My sleep (which is something I’m working to make sure I can get enough off). 5.5 hours of of 6 possible hours of sleep is pretty decent I’d say! I was OUT that block of time from 1:15AM until my alarm went off. There was a whole 2.5 hour chunk where I didn’t even flutter awake.
As stressful as yesterday was it’s also a scenario I’ve trained for, crisis management is no joke, but I also really love it!
Hi Friends,
It’s my peak season at work which means long hours, little sleep, catered meals, limited workouts (if any), no time for tumblr. Is it July 10th yet?
What cute mailmen we are…hahaha
This quote applies to so many aspects of my life…
Spent the past 24 hours at a ropes course with my student staff. I remember in my heavier days being terrified of ropes courses because of the physical elements, especially “the wall.” However you need to put your trust in the team.
I always loved being a spotter, lifter, and especially a puller. Getting lifted/pulled less so, however over time my “challenge zone” in an activity like this has become a “comfort zone.” I love being able to push and support others as they face heir comfort zone. I also love being an example and also showing my team that I trust them to help me get over the wall.
In this case the challenge is a 13 foot flat surface, but we all have challenges that seem insurmountable in front of us. The important part of life is realizing that we are all in it together, there is strength in numbers.
I got nominated for a Staff Performance Award by one of my students, this is the nomination she wrote. I’ve never received any sort of formal recognition for my work before and this is just beyond heartwarming!
Some of my work partners are just terrible and frustrating. Some of the problem children from last year WHO I BLAMED MYSELF FOR UPSETTING/BEING DIFFICULT are upset and difficult again this year, despite SO MUCH COMMUNICATION and advanced planning.
Last year I was in year one of my job and an office of one (due to improper staffing and turnover). I was working SO HARD, but I knew not at the level I could/would want to be at, but I was doing better than most would think is humanly possible. I took on so much stress and beat myself up so hard for “disappointing” and “letting people down.” So much so that it really spiked my Workaholic tendencies which really came to a head last summer and led me to go to counseling and ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics).
Yet here were are a year later, I have a team. We are doing great work. We are cleaning up the mess of a department I inherited and creating systems, protocols, communication channels and communication timelines. And yet it’s not good enough and I’m essentially getting attacked and criticized via email and to my face.
Thankfully, only now I can finally see it’s THEIR PROBLEM. They don’t think or care about my department’s work until May and ignored meeting invites and emails over the past several months. We have regular partner planning meetings – which THEY tell us who should sit on it. Not my problem if their designee is not going, not reporting back, or you aren’t asking for an update.
YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT MY PROBLEM. AND HOW DARE THEY TRY AND SAY OTHERWISE.
I am so triggered, but I am naming it and trying to breathe. I hope I can let it go and not let it haunt me all day.
Greetings from Philly!
I took the train up and arrived yesterday afternoon for a work conference.
Lots of extroversion which I love! Lots of food and drink, which I also love.
I’m mostly tracking, but I know I’m over my points. Getting steps in and plan to work out tomorrow. I get back home Wednesday afternoon so I’m planning on working on then too.
So I realized I don’t think I mentioned here that ~2 weeks ago my boss told me he is leaving for a new opportunity elsewhere. It took all my self-control to not be like GOOD RIDDANCE. That’s half true, he is a very nice man, but he never made any real effort to understand or support my work. He didn’t intentionally harm me, but there were so many opportunities where he could have offered help or suggestions when I was a 1 person office and he never did. Clearly he’s been “done” for some time and that shows up in his lack of interest in investing in me or my work.
With that being said the whole University and my division are going through strategic planning processes. I am no stranger to these and have been a part of them at previous institutions. I know this is a time to give ideas and be heard. With this has also been re-org talk which in the case of my work makes SO MUCH SENSE. I’ve been thinking about where in the org chart I am, and where my team belongs.
Late last week I heard an interim person was going to be tapped when my boss leaves which is normal (spoiler alert it’s not me, nor would I expect/want it). However yesterday I’m in a meeting and my VP (aka my boss’s boss calls me). I was near her office so when I got out of my meeting I popped by and we were able to chat. She told me about who she named as interim and how they are going to lead that team, however, she said that she’d like ME to report to her in the interim because: 1. I don’t make sense on the team I’m on and 2. she wants to get a deeper understanding of my work and the needs of my area to be best supported.
DUDE! I feel great. She NOTICES ME and VALUES ME! I am excited to see how I can leverage this opportunity and see where it takes me!