Month: March 2012

The Case For Former Fat Girls

**I don’t’ agree with all of this (from Thought Catalog),, but some of it struck a chord**

I am firmly convinced that former fat girls are among the best people in the world. A reformed cherub with a heart of gold and almond milk running through her veins, a former fat girl has developed the monkish asceticism necessary to subvert her metabolical shortcomings. Intellect, humor, and kindness are the vestigial sexual organ of the former fat girl that remain even as girth shrinks. Heretofore referred to as the FFG, this is my emphatic declaration of the wholesale superiority and date-ability of the Former Fat Girl.

Mar. 9, 2012⁠ By Amanda M. Duberman ⁠

First and foremost, the former fat girl does not rely on positive reinforcement based on superficiality, because she never could. Forced to develop a personality absent the praise afforded our more lithe adolescent peers, the former fat girl is often a blissful conflation of both Megan Fox and Melissa McCarthy. Armed with a compulsory stellar personality and arsenals of artificial sweeteners, the FFG’s intellect and wit are relatively inelastic to shrinking mass. The FFG had considerably more social downtime to dedicate to academia than her more buoyant, extracurricularly occupied peers. As such, GPA often corresponds proportionally with BMI, and having spent time in the upper range the FFG likely occupies the upper tax bracket. Say hello to your sugar (re:splenda) mama. 

While the lifetime skinny girl is difficult to impress, former fat girls are reliably receptive to any complement that faintly implies thinness or delicacy. Verbal adoration of her cheek bones, or even better, knobby knees, guarantees a sprint to second base. Carelessly lift her off her feet mid-dance or hug and she’s yours for life. Forgive me Ms. Steinem, but the former fat girl is often more tolerant of anti-feminist relationship pitfalls, and holds fast to her inaugural post-chub beau like she does to the last non-fat Greek yogurt at Dean and Deluca.  

Furthermore, the FFG is unimpeachably groomed. After all, prior to joining the ranks of the modestly nourished, enhancing our non-caloric dependent traits was all we could do to illicit masculine response. We can be counted on for fantastic hair, expertly applied make-up after years feigning facial definition, and strategic scarf and waist belt placement. 

Less existentially, the former fat girl tends to be easy on the wallet. Lightly dressed greens are considerably less expensive than the filet mignon an endocrinology gifted waif may elect for. March Madness can be thoroughly enjoyed without a pestering spouse given the month’s threatening proximity to bathing suit season. Fundamentally a glutton, the former fat girl may indulge her reformed hedonism (or, I daresay, oral fixation) more illicitly with you as the prime beneficiary. Our thighs, once best friends but now estranged, might just open generously after an average five-year delay of virginity loss. 

I did NOT want to get up when my alarm went off at 6:15am to run before work. I reset the alarm for 7am and said I’d find time to run later or tomorrow (despite knowing that the next 48 hours are jam packed).

Let’s keep in mind in 18 weeks of marathon training I’ve only done 2 or 3 pre-work morning runs until this past week.

I laid in bed maybe 4 minutes. I couldn’t sleep and felt guilty. 

So I got up and got running. 

4 miles with the dog before work.

AND I DON’T REGRET IT. I NEVER DO. 

I only regret my decisions NOT to run.

Eight things I Learned from 50 Naked People.

via: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/09/eight-things-i-learned-from-50-naked-people-kate-bartolotta/

In the past year, I’ve touched more than 50 naked people.

Don’t worry though—the fancy parts were covered—I’m a massage therapy student. They have you start on friends and family, other students and then the general public. Some people are silent during a massage; others can’t stop talking in a nervous attempt to clothe themselves with something, even if only words.

Despite our obsession with sex, American culture doesn’t really encourage nakedness (physically oremotionally). And if all the pleasantries and social constructs we use weren’t bad enough, we add social media into the mix and distance each other even further. When we’re naked and silent, all of that falls away. What I learn from what a person tells me is miniscule compared to what I learn by feeling his skin, muscle and bone. By watching him move. By listening to his breath. By feeling his pulse. So, in case you didn’t know:

1. Your body doesn’t lie. You might say, “I’m relaxed!” or, “That pressure is great, you can work deeper,” but your body may tell a very different story. What goes on in your muscles, with your breathing, with your pulse is the truest you: the you that even you might not know yet. It’s a good thing to get in touch with. You’d feel much better if you listened and let your words match up to what your body was saying.

2. When you stretch, you open up space.  This is physically true, and emotionally true. When you physically stretch (or allow yourself to be stretched) you create space and allow for greater movement, greater vulnerability and more growth. It’s the same when you stretch yourself emotionally, too. Your physical and emotional selves aren’t separate––stretch one, and you usually stretch the other, too. It isn’t always comfortable at first, but it’s a wonderful thing. Surrender to it. You won’t regret it.

3. That thing you’re embarrassed about? That you don’t want anyone to see? That you tense up and hold your breath over? The part of you that you wish were different? It’s ok. Let go. Enjoy it. It’s part of what makes you so beautiful.

4. Everyone has body hair in various places and amounts. There’s no one right amount. It’s all good. Same goes for moles. Even models don’t look like they do in the pictures. Smooth and hairless is a Fifth Avenue invention designed to create discontent (and sell grooming products).

5. Everything you’ve experienced is stored in your body at a cellular level. Each cell is a record of all of it. I’ve felt it in your skin. Being born. Being held. The time you fell off your bike and weren’t that hurt but very scared. That brutal sunburn on your shoulders at 14. The time you fell out of a tree and broke your collarbone. The first time you felt deeply loved. The person who hurt you so badly you thought you were broken for good. Your muscles remember it. They remember it like it happened 10 minutes ago.

Your successes hold your shoulders high. Your losses pull your chest inward. You hold your sadness in your throat, your anger in your jaw and your fear in your belly. Your happiness rises and falls in your chest. Love rolls in and out on the tides of your breath. It’s all there, all the time. {You can release the parts that hurt, if you want to. Yoga and massage are the best ways I’ve seen.}

6.   Your weight is the least interesting thing about you. I promise.

7.   Your skin, however, is fascinating. Every line, every freckle, every scar tells the amazing stories of your life. Please don’t Botox, bleach or sand it all away. They’re all beautiful.

8.   Your body is a f*cking wonderland. You are amazing just as you are, right now.

REGISTERED

Just registered for the Marine Corps Marathon on October 28th in my soon to be new home of Washington, DC! 

My sister and my friend Sarah both registered too – it will be their first marathons.

Meanwhile I’m a dumbass and clicked the wrong state for my billing address AK instead of AL – so I’m currently on hold with active.com to try and fix that so it doesn’t affect my registration status. Just talked with active.com – I’m good to go.

WOOOHOOO!

Edit: catchmecassie & sayhellotocindy are in – who else? 

Also heard from a former coworker from TX who is running it too!

*MCM just set the record for fastest marathon sell out in the United States 2 hours 41 minutes!

The Hemmer

I went to the tailor (or as a former precious redneck student of mine once said ‘the hemmer’) yesterday to get THIS yellow jacket taken in FINALLY.

I’ve consigned or donated a lot of the my XL clothes, but I always loved this jacket. I remember when my mom bought it as a birthday gift for me in ’09 from Macy’s. I was too big for a large and I HATED the idea of getting a 1x. Somehow we managed to find an XL they had and bought it.

The jacket got too big on me very fast and I have rarely worn it despite, LOVING it. Since my new job is at a school whose colors are green and gold – I knew I had to finally get the jacket taken it so I can wear it to work. And yes I’m a school spirited nerd I don’t even care if you’re judging me about it.

The tailor said he’s need to create a new seam because it’d be a lot of material to remove! I’m pretty sure that if I bought the jacket today I could have fit the medium. 

I’m excited it get it back after LA – which I leave for in 1 WEEK! I’ll be sure to post pictures of me in my “new” jacket!

Marathon Twitter Account

Marathon Twitter Account

I’d love for you guys to follow me on Marathon Day through my Marathon-specific twitter account.

I plan to tweet whilst running (the main reason I’ve kept my Blackberry instead of get an iPhone so I can type and run semi-well). My friend and cheerleader Kelly will also be tweeting from the sidelines. 

If you have a twitter add the account and if you don’t have twitter you can just save the link and see updates throughout the day by visiting the twitter page directly. 

I guess that means the cat’s out of the bag kids, my name is Jenn. Nice to meet you! I never have used my name publicly on here, but having your support Marathon day and sharing my excitement is worth losing my psuedo-anonymity! 

Early Miles

This is a SUPER DUPER busy week in terms of post work activities – aka 2 going away parties for me, a work even,t and a work conference in Charlotte this weekend. So I bit the bullet and woke up early to get my 4 miler in before work.

If these runs were earlier in my Marathon training I may have blew them off, but I’ve run EVERY RUN of my 18 week training (well I’m on week 17 at the moment). I have have switched some days around or adjusted distances minorly, but I stuck to my training.

These last 10 days leading up to the Marathon it would be easy to skip “just a 3 or 4 mile run” – however my dedication to my training means more to me than an extra hour of sleep. 

I have a late night 3 miler at the gym planned for tomorrow and a 4 miler pre-work planned for Thursday. Still trying to figure out when I’m going to squeeze in an 8 miler this weekend.

Sweaty Tears

Tonight was my second to last (or possibly last pending on my schedule next week) SPIN class.

I have really enjoyed spin and I’m so glad I was encouraged by many of you over a year ago. 

I really love my spin instructors Ria and Mitch. I’m really worried about finding a gym in DC with instructors I like as much as them and class as a convenient time.