Thinking of this guy who I lost 10+ years ago following complications after gastric bypass surgery.
Losing him when he was 58 and I was 24 turned my world upside-down. When I was in high school he lost 100 lbs naturally and kept it off for ~8 years, but once he retired and his routine changed he put weight back on. At 6’2 ~300 lbs he purposefully put on some weight to qualify for the surgery.
He originally planned for lap band, but about a week prior to surgery he opted for gastric bypass as a more permanent solution.
His surgery was the Thursday before Thanksgiving, I saw him the Sunday before since we were both living in North Texas at the time. He wasn’t scared so I was scared. I was planning to see him a few days after his surgery so he told me not to drive the 2.5 hours down for surgery. He got through surgery and was supposed to be released from the clinic the next day, but they kept him another night, and then another night. I should have known something was wrong, but I was a 24 year old idiot. I spoke to him Saturday afternoon on the phone, he didn’t sound right, but again no one nor my gut told me to come. His surgery incision wasn’t healing properly. Sunday morning, November 18, 2007 I get the hysterical 6AM phone call that he’s dead.
Shock. Anger. Sadness. Regret. Sadness. Anger.
That first year or so after he died was such blur, we tried to sue the hospital for negligence, but ran into good old boys club type roadblocks. The autopsy we had done in NY concluded that he died of internal bleeding, totally preventable or treatable with a blood transfusion.
To me surgery is not a option ever. I have always had a mistrust of doctors after my mom’s dad also died due to routine surgery and post op negligence (in that case my grandmother won the lawsuit and 2 doctors lost their licenses).
In Jan 2010 I knew I wanted to never have to consider an elective surgery so I starting running, slowly, but surely I got control of my life and my health. I’ve had some slip ups over the years, but at the end of the day me living a healthy life is my tribute to my Dad.

Post workout eats!
Gotta start with my 1sp per slice Natures Own Sugar Free bread, 4sp of avocado topped with Za’atar (it’s an amazing flavorful South African spice blend that I’m obsessed with since discovering it through Blue Apron) and grape tomatoes. Then of course some luscious strawberries!

Holy smokes I was not expecting this!! I had “negative weekly points” this week after the weekend, but exceeded my Fit Points goal for the week.
Maybe having my #weightwatchers “week” start on a Thursday to coincide with my weigh in is a good strategy! I feel like I really corrected after a point heavy weekend.
Please note my WW weigh in is always more since I’m dressed and it’s a noon than my home scale when I’m naked and it’s first thing in the morning.

#MLwiw

This has been a go to crock pot meal these past few months. I eat it over cauliflower rice. Today was the first time I did it on low and let it cook overnight!

Weight Watchers Freestyle has been a total game changer. I had another catered work lunch today and was able to stay within my healthy eating range with this low point, but hearty meal! 

This is my idea journal that I started in April (it’s different that my nightly journal). I’m using it flesh out some ideas for my blog, as well as the book/play/musical I want to write. I’m also doing some self discovery work as part of my healing journey and purpose finding journey here too. It’s mostly a stream of consciousness, but writing it down is so important.
To quote the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show: “Don’t dream it, be it.” I’m starting with writing down my dreams and making concrete commitments and plans to turn them into reality.

I still can’t believe I’m becoming the kind of person who leaves a party at 10:30pm on Saturday night so I can go home and make sure I get 8+ hours of sleep and still wake up for my 9am Body Pump class. Curbing my sleeping until the afternoon tenancies has been a major shift in my life. I still love sleep, but I try to go to bed earlier to make sure I can go to the fitness classes I like.

Also can we talk about how I was feeling sexy AF in this sports bra/tank combo. My shoulders and back are quickly become new favorite body parts!

Spent the past 24 hours at a ropes course with my student staff. I remember in my heavier days being terrified of ropes courses because of the physical elements, especially “the wall.” However you need to put your trust in the team.
I always loved being a spotter, lifter, and especially a puller. Getting lifted/pulled less so, however over time my “challenge zone” in an activity like this has become a “comfort zone.” I love being able to push and support others as they face heir comfort zone. I also love being an example and also showing my team that I trust them to help me get over the wall.
In this case the challenge is a 13 foot flat surface, but we all have challenges that seem insurmountable in front of us. The important part of life is realizing that we are all in it together, there is strength in numbers.