For most of my life I’ve been a private person, fiercely so (most of my friend and family don’t even know this blog exists, it’s been my own sanctuary space). The primary reason being a classic defense mechanism to prevent being vulnerable. Lately, I’ve been shifting toward other healthier coping mechanisms that aren’t as isolating.
A private aspect of my life that I’ve only very recently begun talking about outside my closest circles is one worth sharing today, my Dad’s Birthday.
About 5 years after my parents separated my Dad slowly and quietly came out of the closet as a gay man. It wasn’t until about 3 years before his death that both him and I were able to begin comfortably talking about his identity and his partner. I supported my Dad and loved him fully, but also struggled at times.
I remember being 22 and wishing I could read about or talk with other adult children of gay parents or parents who came out later in life, I felt so alone. Fortunately times have changed so much over these past 10+ years. However, I never really got to fully embrace this aspect of my identity because when I was 24 my Dad died unexpectedly. All of a sudden I was a daughter without a father as opposed to the daughter of a gay father. Yet, both of these identities are important to me and have shaped me beyond measure.
I’m so very proud to be my father’s daughter. I thank him especially for giving me his sense of humor, ingenuity, and love of musicals. To know me is to know him and on his birthday I wanted to honor and share a part of us. Happy Birthday Daddy, I miss you every single day ❤️ 4.25.49-11.18.07
