Tag: MLbalance

I am SO glad my busy season of work is over, running an all out sprint basically from June 1 to Sept 1 is exhausting on many levels. This week has been the first week since my brief reprieve in July when I’ve been able to wake up an hour early and have that hour for ME.

*I preset my coffee maker so I can wake up to coffee and grab a cup first thing (well after chugging a glass of water to get my system going)
*Read for 10-15 minutes
*Review/update my schedule for the day/week
*Write/review goals for the week/day
*Usually try to take an action step towards at least one of the goals
*Catch up social media and post on here
*Categorize blog posts on my tumblr (I’ve been tagging all 3,100 posts into categories working from now back, I’m currently in Fall 2011 and need to get to be beginning which was January 2010).

Then before I know it my alarm is going off to remind me to get ready for work, grab my breakfast and lunch for the day and head out the door. It’s my own version of a goddess/diva hour and I can’t recommend taking an hour for yourself to start your day enough!

This month has been an absolute rollercoaster in every way imaginable from great to terrible and it’s reflected on the scale.
I learned that binging is a bigger issue in my life that I thought when I’m feel stressed or out of control. I binge on work and food – sometimes together, but not always.
I often “punish” myself – I’ve learned that my workaholism that I’m in recovery for is a way that I “punish” myself for not accomplishing as much as I wanted to in a day (it especially have reared it’s ugly head when my team is understaffed and I try to overcompensate and overfunction to try and make up for being understaffed.
With food when I’m feeling out of control then I really act out and “punish” myself through binge eating. If I feel a little bit broken I tend to “self harm” through workaholism or food until I’m truly shattered.
Over the last year through ACA and therapy I’ve become more away of my workaholism and need to set boundaries. I am only now recognizing this pattern through food. Recognizing there pattern is half the battle, but there is still work to be done. I’m excited as of this week be in my “quiet” season at work, but I plan to continue to do the work I myself because I don’t want another peak season of work or life to happen and derail me.

This is a picture of me right now. Seriously.
I want to share the good and the bad here. I’ve put on 10 lbs since 7/27 and almost left Body Combat in the middle of class because I could FEEL those 10 lbs jiggling on my body making everything seem so much harder. I finished out the class and I’m glad I did. Thankfully my busiest season of work officially wraps up on Friday after an especially grueling Sun-Tues this week.
I know I will get back in the groove now that vacation, Birthday, and final push of a busy work season are behind me, but I still feel like a failure. Like I caught a beautiful butterfly that I lost time and time again and swore I wouldn’t let it getaway, but then I did. I know weight loss and fitness is a series of falling down and getting back up. I’m just wallowing in the moment and I thought it was important to share my human imperfection because it’s real.
#failure #human #weightlossjourney #fitnessjourney #real #recovery #selfcare #balance #alignment

A recent goal I set was to start using a paper planner to better organize my personal time. It was just my luck that “academic year” planners starting July 1 were available, I was totally prepared to buy one for just half the year! I literally spent 30+ min in Target looking at EVERY planner until I decided on one that would best suit my needs. I also bought erasable gel pens to color code my time blocks. My aunt introduced me to these pens a few months ago and I’m obsessed with them. Since calendars are every changing and pencils can be messy I thought these would be my best bet!

Had a walking date with my friend M this morning around a beautiful nearby lake. I NEEDED this walk. My physical activity has been demolished due to my work schedule. I love finding opportunities to mix being social with working out. Love catch up time with M for 1.5 hours and we also hit our step goal in the process!

Growing up with an alcoholic mother in a dysfunctional household I took on the role of “hero child.” This is a role my inner child has continued to carry with me. In the last 5 years due to neglectful/disinterested bosses and authority figures my inner child manifested as a workaholic.
Things hit an all time low last summer due to insurmountable work stress and lack of staff/structure/support. It took hitting rock bottom to seek out the therapy and support in #ACA that I needed to begin this recovery journey. As I approach my peak season at work this year I hope I can maintain the boundaries I’ve set and maintain my emotional sobriety.
#adultchildrenofalcoholics #selfcare #aca #acoa #recoveryjourney

Well instead of wallowing after my cancelled Raleigh trip I decided to spend yesterday and today being productive (and burning a lot of calories outside). Excited to see my Impatiens take root and flourish!

*a sunburnt tramp stamp is an unfortunate consequence of being an old millennial homeowner haha. Next time I’ll remember to apply my sunscreen there too!