THIS!
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Choosing to stop the cycle has been very difficult. I am often made to feel guilty or small by my mother, but I know deep down I am doing this for me. I can look back and see the generations before me and I refuse to let that be the future. Part of my refusal is my choice to not have children, but I’m working on building my own legacy and giving love to friends and animals!
Wise words from my mentor @cscdanmason
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This quote is part of Dan’s Life Amplified podcast intro each week and it wasn’t until I listened to episode 43 over the weekend that I was really smacked upside the head by this line that I’ve “heard” but didn’t really “hear.”
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Perhaps it’s because I’m on the other side of reckoning with some deep-seated pain and finally feel like I’m stepping into my purpose.
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Without the pain I may not have had the courage to get to where I am and more importantly where I’m going!
Another gut punch from “The Drama of the Gifted Child.”
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I made a choice some years back to not have children. The overarching cycle of generational “abuse” is just too much for me. Working in higher education we talk so much about generational shifts, but parenting just like education is slow to change.
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For me bigger than the giant concern about my own ability to be a better parent than mine is the deeper concern of dealing with other parents (and especially how judgmental they can be). My inner child just is too broken to handle that..
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Instead I nurture my students, my relationships, and my dog. These things fulfill me and I have peace with my decision.
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Fight Club is one of my top 10 favorite movies. There are so many great quotes and life lessons to ponder. This quote has been resonating with me a lot lately.
I’ve been on a quest for freedom which I think is the ultimate form of currency in this society.
Went to a really cool local event tonight. The next one is in February and the theme is love – and they are open to broad interpretation. I was super inspired by tonight’s storytellers. I’m going to look into their submission process and see if I think I have something I’m ready to share!
This personal development journey has really been something else, something extraordinary. To read something on a page (or hear it on a podcast) and to think YES! THAT, EXACTLY THAT! It’s both comforting and humbling and upsetting.
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We are society of broken people putting on a happy face at all cost. I’m tired of paying that cost, I’d rather spend that energy healing and filling my cracks.
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Book: The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
Working on my relationship with my Higher Power.
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I grew up Catholic, like Catholic school 1-12th grade, Altar-Serving, Rectory-working Catholic. My mom is also the queen of “Catholic Guilt.” I stopped going to church in college and it wasn’t until a year I to my Measuring Life journey did I begin to explore churches again, but this time not Catholic. I was living in Alabama & a coworker’s husband was a Methodist preacher. I liked John so I figured I’d like him as Preacher John too. I was right! However his church was like 40 min away & I knew I couldn’t make that drive a habit so I explored other Methodist churches in my area and found one I loved. They had great contemporary music. I love all music & being able to sing awesome praise music & listen to a great band at church, SCORE! I attended there for a year before I moved up to the DC area.
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In 2014 after 18 month of living in DC I decided to church hop again & found another Methodist one I really liked, it was also a very laid back service, the music was okay, but the Preacher was great. I attended for over a year, but life got in the way.
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We’ve lived in our current town for ~2 years & I had been curious about churches in the area & did a bunch of research, but didn’t work up the courage/make the time to go until this month. My Sunday’s have been pretty tied up lately, but I made it to a Saturday late afternoon service Labor Day weekend. It was quite traditional & there was a substitute preacher filling in for the new preacher who joined this church in June. I was disappointed & saw it as a bad sign, but after the service one lady encouraged me to come back to see the new Preacher & since I told her I like music she said come to the 10:30am service. She didn’t pressure me, but just wanted to tell me it had a different vibe than the service I was at. So today was the day I had time to go and wow I’m glad I did.
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It was a great service with good music & a laid back feel that I am most comfortable with. I also really liked the Preacher & the message. It was less about letting go of “stuff” and more about letting go of the baggage that weighs us down. I’ll def be back!
Finally ready to work the 12 steps after 14 months in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). I’m going to participate in my first step study meeting after our regular meeting tonight.
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Just some “light reading” to add to my stack!
I should note I am more of the creative side of the spectrum than the intellectual genius side.
I am SO glad my busy season of work is over, running an all out sprint basically from June 1 to Sept 1 is exhausting on many levels. This week has been the first week since my brief reprieve in July when I’ve been able to wake up an hour early and have that hour for ME.
*I preset my coffee maker so I can wake up to coffee and grab a cup first thing (well after chugging a glass of water to get my system going)
*Read for 10-15 minutes
*Review/update my schedule for the day/week
*Write/review goals for the week/day
*Usually try to take an action step towards at least one of the goals
*Catch up social media and post on here
*Categorize blog posts on my tumblr (I’ve been tagging all 3,100 posts into categories working from now back, I’m currently in Fall 2011 and need to get to be beginning which was January 2010).
Then before I know it my alarm is going off to remind me to get ready for work, grab my breakfast and lunch for the day and head out the door. It’s my own version of a goddess/diva hour and I can’t recommend taking an hour for yourself to start your day enough!