New workout tights from Academy Sports (not having one nearby anymore hurts my heart, I love their store brand line). I made sure to make time to pop in when I was visiting Alabama 2 weeks ago. Bought these and a cute new v-neck tech tee.

Also, I’m working from home today since I worked an event most of the weekend, so I was able to go to a noon Body Pump class near the house. 

Words & Thoughts…

Out of the blue this morning I had a string of thoughts that started with the lady who interviewed me for the Urban Hiking gig. I wondered…

…if she thought I was in good enough shape to teach a Health & Fitness class.

…was she expecting someone of my “size” to interview for the job (which I got).

…what is my “size” ?

…was my body type a non-issue because I was “normal” – did I warrant to be thought of as normal?

…at what point would “my size” be viewed as normal versus fat or big or my very least favorite “bigger” which I feel people use to not seem like THEY aren’t being as harsh when describing someone.

…what is the first thing people notice about me? That I’m tall? I almost would hope I’m seen as tall first over being seen as “fat” or “big” – in my college days I used to control that narrative subconsciously by wearing pretty revealing tops, so the first thing people noticed were my big boobs. My chest was like a weird security blanket for SO many years. In fact one of my best friends brought up how low cut my shirts used to be and how I dress more conservatively now (it is funny we did go out to a bar on Saturday night to dance for my friends birthday with a bunch of girls and I wore a shirt that was cute to me vs one that was “dance club cute”) and that is a definite shift that even I’ve noticed over the years. 

It both surprises and doesn’t surprise me when my deep seeded insecurities rear its ugly head. I’ve been feeling “slender” lately. My body is changing, I’ve been working out 5-6x a week, and keeping up with Weight Watchers. My clothes fit differently, but more so I know I’m carrying myself differently.

I know we cannot control how people view us, I only have control over how I view myself. 

Urban Hiking

Woohoo I interviewed and got an offer to teach an Urban Hiking (HFIT 196) class this spring. It’s a 6 week, one-credit Saturday class with up to 12 students. I get to take them on various DC trails and introduce the necessary hiking skills and concepts to hike for outdoor travel or as a recreational fitness activity. Content will cover fitness for hiking, route planning, proper clothing and gear, safety concerns, and environmental conditions.

I’m PUUUUMPED

Design Your Life

I’m on a waitlist for a three session “Designing Your Life” workshop led by Professor Chris Palmer, a passionate advocate of personal growth and how people can become successful, productive, and fulfilled. Palmer is an author, film producer, and father. 

In a recent article Chris Palmer offered up seven tips for designing a successful life:

  1. Choose to accept your mission. Create your own “personal mission statement.” Your personal mission statement helps you decide at what to do with your time and energy. In creating it, you are beginning to write the story of your life. What gives your life meaning? Who do you want to become? What matters deeply to you?
  2. Spend your time wisely. You want congruence between how you spend your day and what matters most to you. Are you spending time on projects and relationships that won’t matter to you in the long run?
  3. Be fearless and free. What can you imagine doing if time, money, and fear were not obstacles? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? If you had all the money in the world, what would you do for free?
  4. Take care of home. Keep your life in balance. Be aware of all your important roles and responsibilities in life, not just at work. Having a happy home life should be among your highest goals.
  5. If you can see it, you can achieve it. Set goals. Put them in writing. This is a powerful process. Without goals, our lives are essentially drifting without focus. Putting your plans on paper makes goals more concrete, meaningful, and real.
  6. Know when to walk away. Improving your success involves more than ridding your life of time-wasters like poorly run meetings, interruptions, and gossip. Major gains in success and productivity come from ceasing to pursue a course of action-a job, a contract, a career, or a relationship-that is wrong for you.
  7. The power of “no.” Sometimes the best time-saver of all is the word “no.” Declining a request from another person without causing ill-will is a learnable skill. Identifying activities in your life that are not important to you is key to improving your productivity and happiness. What can you stop doing to free up time for the things that are important to you?

http://www.american.edu/spexs/Design-Your-Life/

WIW

Last Week: 188.5

Today: 189.7

Change: +1.2

I was expecting that after a fun weekend in Auburn. I need to stop having so many fun weekends that undo all my hard work during the week. Actually, no, I love (albeit NEED) my fun weekends. My new approach is to try and stick to my points 6/7 days of the week – I know I can do it. 

Parallel Lives

So as I’ve mentioned here this summer I came to terms with my identity of being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). I started learning more about this identity last January after a particularly traumatizing Christmas at my mom’s. 

It’s unbelievable how much my mother’s addiction has shaped me. The more I read and talk with my counselor and ACA group the more I learn about myself, how to cope, and how to choose myself despite being manipulated by an addict. I was taught that anything my mom didn’t essentially like/approve of/suit her was “bad.” And more than anything I have this overwhelming desire to be a “good girl.” 

I get guilted for not living in New York or jumping at her every need. She’s 66 (today actually is her birthday which led to a stressful call) and physically healthy. Heck she’s intelligent and funny too. Nothing I do/could do (even again my better sense) is going to help her. She needs to change for herself PERIOD.

This summer I came across this blog and holy hell it’s like I WROTE it. The weirdest part is that she starting writing the day I went to my first ACA meeting. There’s some amazing honestly, sadness, but also humor here too. If you love someone struggling with addiction or just a fan of good writing check it out

http://grumpysunshine.com/